Planet Tristan

test

2011-07-30T12:37:00.001-07:00

TEST

Our House

2007-04-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

Back in 2000, me and the man decided to buy a house together. I put my current house up for sale and Ricky put his roommate on notice. We began the great property search. We were looking for a house with lots of rooms, on a quiet street, and close to the highways. There were a couple of houses that looked promising, but one really really jumped out at me. I didn't look at the house as 'a maybe', I looked at it as if it was 'the one'. It was at the end of a cul-de-sac, it had lots of rooms with a small wooded area next to it at a convienent location. Perfect. We contacted the realtor to set up an appointment. I was crushed to find out 'the one' was already under contract. Our search continued on, but it was disappointing as we didn't come across another 'one'.

Eventually, I accepted a bid on my house. The buyers had a deadline and wanted to move in as quickly as possible. It was time for us to hit the streets again and seriously start looking for a house to buy. We went to the realtors office for a new list of properties. I remember glancing at the list crossing out the properties we already ruled out when I saw 'the one' listed on my list. It had to be a mistake. I asked the realtor why my favorite house was on the list when it was already sold. She insisted it was still for sale on the computer. She made a quick call to confirm and indeed it's contract fell through and it was back on the market. Rejoice! The previous buyer had another 24 hours to show up but everyone seemed confident that wasn't going to happen. I was thrilled. I knew that was suppose to be our home. I just knew it. I told Ricky and I told the realtor. We quickly made an appointment to see inside. I remember pulling up to the front curb, before we were out of the car, I said to Ricky this is 'the one'. We walked into the front foyer and I whispered to the realtor, "I want this house". She laughed at me and suggested we actually walk through the house to be sure. We did and it was everything I had hoped and more. We returned to the realtors office and typed up our offer. We offered their asking price and they accepted. House sold!

We have been here almost seven years and I still believe that this is where we are suppose to be raising our family. The house is currently undergoing some radical changes; new master bedroom addition with a walk-in closet (yeah!), exterior changes, new roof, new deck and new siding. Our old master bedroom will become the boys playroom. The deck will be suitable for bare feet. We are excited at all the new changes that are happening. My darling house will no longer look like it did seven years but it certainly remains to be 'the one' for us (for now).

Tristan 2 years ago

2007-04-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

Easter 2007

2007-04-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Tristan! Three!

2007-04-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

Tristan turned 3 years old this month. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. I don't know why it upsets me so much that he is actually getting older, but I am sure I will need to be sedated when he turns 4. My father came over on Sunday to bring Tristan's gifts so we had a small ice cream cake after dinner. We lit 4 candles: 3 for his age and 1 to honor his birthmom, Marta.

The following day, Aunt Barbara treated Tristan to a trip to ToysRUS so he can pick out his own gift. She is brave. We dropped them off and headed out to do some errands. About an hour later, they emerged from the store with a carriage filled with goodies. We barely fit them all in the trunk of our car and I swore I smelled smoke from Barbara's credit card.

The next day was Tristan's actual birthday. It turned out to be a gorgeous day so we headed out to the park for some fun. As soon as we got there, Tristan wanted to watch the ducks and geese scamper around the stream. I found a bench to feed Gavin in the stroller and Ricky took Tristan over to see the pond. It was about 5 minutes later that Tristan fell into the pond and was absolutely soaked up to his waist. It brought a quick tear-filled halt to our day as we stripped the muddy wet shoes and clothes off of him and went home to clean up. The rest of the day was filled was birthday gifts and another ice cream cake at his grandparents so the disappointment didn't last long.

Happy Happy Birthday to you, my darling Tristan!
Today I celebrate the day you were born.
Today I celebrate Marta for giving you life.
Today I celebrate Guatemala who blessed me with the honor and privilege of being your forever mom.
Love forever and always, Mommy

Home Six Weeks

2007-04-06T18:08:00.000-07:00

We have been home with Gavin for six weeks. I still can't believe how life has changed for us. He is still having a hard time at night with frequent wakings, crying jags, etc. We don't know how much of it is adoption related or just plain old teething. He has gotten 3 teeth on top and we see a few more just waiting to burst thru. During the day, he eats well, naps once or twice a day, and is generally a happy smiley baby. He does prefer to be held or engaged. If I put him down to vacuum or do chores he will fuss. When Tristan came home, he was only 12lbs and easy to cart around while doing the chores. Gavin is 24lbs of chunk and I am weak and feeble so to the floor he shall sit. Poor kid.

Our biggest challenge remains to be Tristan's behavior. I believe he is quite 'used to' Gavin living here but still will not let an opportunity pass to step on, squeeze, poke, bump into or knock over Gavin. Tristan also continues to freak out if Gavin touches, reaches for, walks nears, or even looks directly at any of Tristan's toys or what Tristan perceives to be his stuff. So most of my days are running interference between Gavin and Tristan's stuff or keeping Tristan from bullying his brother. It makes for very long days and me counting the minutes until the darling husband dashes through the door to save the day. He is big and strong and patient and can hold both boys for infinite amounts of time. I can escape to the gym for an hour to work out or I can go hide in a hot shower and enjoy the silence and inactivity of the moment.

Gavin went to the doctor for the first time and got a clean bill of health. His development is right on target; he will say mama and dada, he waves and claps, pulls himself up and cruises along the furniture. He can even walk holding just one hand. I think he will be walking unassisted soon. Lord help me. Gavin has been doing well with the family, letting them hold and play with him.

We are feeling extremely lucky that we finished our adoption when we did. Guatemala adoptions are becoming even more unpredictable and scary right now and my heart goes out to all the families and children still in the process. We are so very blessed to have our two boys safe and sound at home.

My Beautiful Boys

2007-03-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Great Wolf Lodge

2007-03-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

With Ricky's return-to-work date looming, we decided to take an overnight trip to Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park in the Poconos. The water rides and slides were geared towards children, so there was little Tristan wasn't able to tackle. Gavin is still fighting a heinous stomach virus so the pool was off limits for him. Ricky and Tristan adventured over and through the water, while me and Gavin either watched from the sidelines or when it got too hot, we took strolls through the lobby. Watching Tristan have such a blast is really the most rewarding thing I can do. Watching him run up the stairs all by himself to come splashing down the water slide into his fathers arms overwhelms me with ridiculous joy. It's insane to me that in any other circumstance I would be bored to tears and miserable being left with nothing to do. Yet here I was; Gavin sleeping in his stroller and me relaxing in the lobby feeling completely content knowing my son was having the time of his life just a few yards away.

Even though Gavin has been sick, he is still a happy easy-going baby. It was a bit of a challenge keeping our clothes poop-free with all the explosive diapers at the most incovienent times but we never far from our room so we managed ok.

Tristan is still struggling with the fact that baby brother is here to stay and yes Gavin is allowed to touch stuff in the house. He just can't resist the impulse to shove, push or poke his brother when the opportunity arises. Although, Tristan does bless Gavin with the rare random act of kindness. After an exhausting day at the water park we all finally collapse onto our king size bed in our room. Gavin was having his bottle and already half asleep. Tristan laid on the other side of him and instead of yelling him awake, pinching his arm or squeezing his hand, he very gently stroked his arm. A few minutes later, they were both fast asleep. When I started breathing again, I made Ricky take a picture. Who knows if there will ever be a moment like that again.

A Visit from Gramma & Pa-Pa

2007-03-08T20:17:00.000-07:00

I See Change

2007-03-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

There was a slight change today. We spent the morning home and then ventured out to the mall for lunch. Overall, Tristan seemed less unhappy about Gavin today. Tristan spent more time laughing and playing today than in a time-out. There may have even been some, dare I say, positive interaction between the two. Their carseats sit in opposite directions so they can see each other while in the car. I caught Tristan making Gavin smile by quickly turning his head away then looking back. Gavin was doing the same thing back to Tristan and there was even some giggling. Tristan also wrestled with me on the bed with Gavin right next to us, and there were no fists or feet flying at Gavin. My heart is full of love.

Father and Sons

2007-03-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

Snuggling with Tristan

Playing with Gavin

The Pick-Up Trip (Part Four, conclusion)

2007-03-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Before we left for Guatemala our agency told us the lawyer will have 2 adoption envelopes. One envelope is for the embassy and the other for us. We were instructed NOT to give the embassy our envelope and do NOT leave the country without it. It contains Gavin's original birth certificate, Adoption Protocol and the other documents that identify Gavin and legalize the adoption. When Gavin was dropped off to us, the translator gave me one envelope and said that is for the embassy tomorrow. When I inquired about our envelope she said the lawyer will give it to you tomorrow at the embassy appointment. At the appointment I asked our lawyer about our envelope and she said she forgot it and will drop it off to us later when she drops off the visa. The following day she dropped off the visa but again forgot the envelope. She said she would return within the hour with it. She never returned. We were leaving on our shuttle to the airport the following morning at 5am. For the rest of the day and night, we were told it would arrive within in the hour, then after work, then it was to be delivered by her secretary on the way home, then around 10pm, then by midnight, then the lawyer was going to deliver on her way home from meetings in the middle of the night. This game continued straight through the night into the morning where we were told the envelope will be brought to the airport with her assistant who was escorting a baby home. The escort had a different flight with a different airline but my husband somehow managed to find her in the middle of a busy airport. This whole incident makes my blood boil. Gavin’s vaccination records were never sent home with us either. We are currently trying to get another copy of the records.

The end of the trip was no less exciting then the rest of the trip. The morning we were leaving we never got our wake-up call. Then I either fell back to sleep for an hour and didn’t realize it OR I misread the clock in the first place but we were suppose to be in the lobby at 4:50am for our shuttle. I thought we were right on schedule and as we were finishing up the last details I glanced at the clock and it read 5:56am. I blink several times, even looked away a few times, because I couldn’t believe it. How could it possibly be 5:56am. We were one hour late. Our plane boards at 6:20. I started freaking out, asking my husband if the clock could be right. He confirmed, oh yes indeed that is the correct time and oh yeah, he was wondering why I was taking my time. What?!? So for the past hour I have been casually packing, showering and getting dressed, and my husband ambled along casually knowing that we missed our shuttle like an hour ago , our plane was probably boarding as we speak and some lady was wandering the airport looking for us to hand over Gavin’s adoption envelope, and no he NEVER SAID A WORD TO ME.

Any of these remarks would of been welcomed:
"Hey we missed our shuttle to the airport."
"Hey do you really think you have time for a shower?"
"Hey you normally are so frazzled when we are running so far behind, what's up?"
"Hey do you think they will hold the plane for another 40 minutes until we get there?"
"Hey, we are late."
"Hey, we are really late."
"Hey, its 6am, shouldn't we be at the airport already?"

Even if words were too much to ask of the husband, how about PICKING UP THE PACE TO A MORE URGENT SPEED! Perhaps that would of prompted me to say, "Hey, whats the rush? We have plenty of time." (sigh) It's still a mystery what went through my husbands head that morning.

By-gones.

The Pick-Up Trip (Part Three)

2007-03-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

From the moment the fostermom left, Gavin screamed. He reached toward the door she walked out of, he scanned the room for her over and over. For two days he would twist in our arms. He would cling to our shoulder, then push us away, turn to us again, then voilently twist to face away again. We were not who he wanted. He did this almost non-stop. His crying was relentless ranging from wails to whimpers to hysterics. It seemed he had a sense that this was not temporary and that she was not coming back. After a very late night we had to meet our lawyer in the lobby at 6:30am for the embassy appointment. I am not sure how, probably adenaline, but somehow we got ourselves dressed and downstairs on time.

The appointment only lasted about 2 1/2 hours. Gavin cried the whole time. It was on our way back to the hotel that we got into a minor accident. The driving in Guatemala is treacherous. They have no fear of hitting other cars or being hit. It reminded me of NYC during rush hour, but worse. To make matters worse, Ricky was holding Gavin in the frontseat on his lap. They usually do not use carseats in Guatemala. Thankfully no one was hurt and it happened in front of our hotel so we didn't have to hang around while our lawyer exchanged info with the other driver. I didn't realize it until we were in the room but I left my purse in the van. We immediately called our lawyer in a panic because we had our money, passports, ticket information, and everything else important in there. We didn't hear back from the lawyer until late afternoon as she was in meetings all day. She didn't even know my purse was in the back of the van. I was reunited with my purse that evening. There may have been a tear of relief.

The Pick-Up Trip (Part Two)

2007-03-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

Gavin was dropped off to us about 3 hours later than planned. They did call after the first 2 hours to let us know it would be another hour. We were waiting in the lobby when they arrived. A taxi pulls up and out jumps the fostermom Maria and Gavin. He was wearing a cute red sweatsuit and had a huge smile on his face. She was talking to him in Spanish telling him that we were his Mama and Papa. She put him down and while holding her fingers, he walked him toward us. He looked identical as our last trip just alot bigger. We fussed over him and headed upstairs to discuss his schedule. As I scribbled notes about Gavin's preferences, Maria, the fostermom played with him. He was giggly and smiley jumping around the bed. Anytime me or Ricky picked him up on the bed, he squirmed away and crawled right back to her. It was clear Gavin was very much attatched to Maria and they loved each other very much. When we were done discussing the schedule, Maria started to cry. She talked to him in spanish, hugged and kissed him. He sensed something dreadful was going to happen. He kept clinging to her and his whole demeanor changed. He was scared. I was scared for him. We hugged Maria goodbye. The only thing she asked was for updated pictures of him as he grows. I could not do what she did. She was incredibly strong and brave.

The Pick-Up Trip (Part One)

2007-03-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

Since our usual hotel, the Marriot, was booked up, we had to stay at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Immediately after we checked in, I unpacked all of our luggage. We called our lawyer and arranged for the baby to be dropped off at 4pm, which was only a short 75 minutes away. Moments later, the front desk calls to tell us they have to move us to a different room on a different floor. It was unclear why we couldn't stay in the room given. It was clear they would not send someone to my room to re-pack everything I just un-packed. Between the language barrier and the possibility of getting a bigger room, we agreed and got moved to an identical room on a different floor. Turns out they put us on floor 7 which was deemed 'The Quiet Zone'. A big sign by the elevator states the hotel promises guests staying in 'The Quiet Zone' they would not have to deal with crying babies, children, music, slamming doors, loud tv and circus animals. If I spoke spanish I may have asked the front desk to be moved to the floor that does allow circus animals.

Tristan's First Snowman

2007-02-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

Making Progress

2007-02-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Rare are the moments that we can get Tristan to pose willingly with Gavin. Since coming home we have been dealing with a very rebellious toddler who wants nothing to do with his new brother. Last night Tristan had an industrial strength temper tantrum followed by a complete meltdown. I laid in bed with him trying to calm him and tried to assure him that everything will be alright. When I asked him what was wrong he quietly said he did not want baby brother to live here anymore. He seems so afraid that any toy Gavin touches will be lost to him forever. He looks the same way at me and Ricky when we give the baby attention. We are lavishing the praise on him when he behaves well and hoping things will start turning around.

There are those fleeting moments that assure us, it will get better. Just today, Gavin was trying to pull himself up when he fell and started crying. Tristan came running over and watched him cry a moment then gave him an unprompted hug. Progress.

Gavin is still following the schedule his fostermom had him on which helps us immensely. He is eating well and smiling alot. Each day we get to know him a little better.

Home

2007-02-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

So many things to write before I forget, but too tired. Gavin is doing much better and graces us with lots of smiles. Tristan is still not embracing the big brother title yet but I know it will get better.

Tears

The first 2 days there was nothing but crying. Tristan even watched his dvds with headphones on to hear over the wailing. I really didn't think babies could cry uninterrupted for so long. When he slept he looked quite peaceful.

We were considering changing our tickets to a nonstop flight on Saturday, worried that the stress may just be too much on Gavin (and the other passengers). But then this happened...

and this..

So we decided to leave things as planned and head home. It was a nail-biting stomach-churning white-knuckle ride right to the end including an almost missed flight, last minute paperwork delivery in the middle of the airport with documents 'we could not leave the country' without, but we made it through.

For now, we will try to catch up on some much needed sleep, get organized and find a way to make both boys happy to be home.

Greetings from Guatemala

2007-02-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

We made it safe and sound. So much drama to talk about but little time. We got our little guy. He was brought to us about 6:30 last night. He was happy, funny, beautiful, healthy and charming baby. Unfortunately when his fostermom left, he fell apart. He has been screaming and crying since she left. He fell asleep crying and woke up with a smile, looked around and started screaming again. Its the most heartbreaking thing to witness.
The good news is we did get our pink slip! and we already went to the embassy this morning and everything went smoothly! We are coming home on Friday!
We havent been able to take many pictures or video, as one of us is always trying to calm Gavin or pay attention to Tristan. Tristan has been great. A little jealousy and annoyance with his new baby brother but still an angel.

We knew things might be bad, we planned for it and we know things will be better. He is in great shape healthwise, crawls, grabs at everything, and eats everything.
We are so happy.

Oh, the driving here is insane. I wondered on our way from the airport to the hotel how we will ever leave this country without being involved in an accident. Well coming home from the embassy our lawyer drove into another car while trying to change lanes. No one was hurt but it was a bit startling. When we piled out of the car at the hotel, I left my purse in the back seat. With our passports, money, Gavin´s schedule and everything else important I wouldn´t leave in the hotel. We have been calling our lawyer the rest of the day to make sure she has it and she hasn´t returned our call yet. Its ok. I am calm. Really, I am.

Almost Ready

2007-02-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

Packs are packed! We are finishing up the last minute details and in 7 short hours we will be headed to the airport. My husband is optimistic that everything will work itself out. Me, not so much. But it is ok because tomorrow this time, Gavin will be with us. FOREVER!
Be back in touch from Guatemala....

Getting Ready

2007-02-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

Potential problems aside, the excitement level in our house is palpable. When me and the husband cross paths, we can't help but smile, hug and remind each other our Gavin is finally coming home! On the other hand, Tristan isn't so much smiling about baby brother anymore. He has taken the position that perhaps Gavin is stepping into some dangerous territory coming into his house. Statements such as: "Baby brothers bedroom is over there (as he points to the neighbors house across the street!)." or "Baby brother can't play with my toys" or today's extra special "I am going to rip up baby brother's room." Alrighty then. I asked Tristan if he was worried about something, perhaps that he would lose his toys when Gavin gets home. He nodded yes. I tried to reassure him the best I can. I asked him what else he was worried about. He said, "werewolves" so I moved onto another subject.

Just 3 days until we are off to the airport. The weekend will mostly be packing, cleaning, organizing and more packing. If everything falls into place, our trip in Guatemala will be short and sweet, returning Friday evening. On the way home from the airport we will make a quick visit at Ricky's family's house to pick-up our car and more importantly introduce Gavin to his Grandparents and Aunts. We did the same routine with Tristan. We ordered pizza and told them of our adventures. Before we left we got together to take a quick family picture. It looked like it would of been a great picture. This time I will make sure the picture is IN FOCUS.

Potential Problem

2007-02-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

Even though the embassy says that we do have an appointment on the 21st, the embassy still has not provided our lawyer with our pink slip. The pink slip is your 'pass' into the embassy on your appointment date. So the embassy says they expect us, but without a pink slip, the guards will not let us in the building.

Monday is a holiday and the embassy is closed. Tuesday our lawyer will bring a copy of the email the embassy sent to us and try to straighten it out.

Whats can happen: The embassy will give our lawyer the pink slip on Tuesday and all is well.
Or our appointment gets delayed and we have to stay in Guatemala and wait for our appointment. Or I stay and Ricky returns home until the problem is cleared.

I am hopeful this will work itself out but it is like a black cloud hanging over our heads. I am trying to focus on the fact that on Tuesday we are reunited with Gavin and we (or at least me) won't be leaving until he is can board a plane. And that is certainly enough.

The Embassy responded with this message....

2007-02-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

We are glad to inform you that the pink slip has been issued and you have an appointment schedule for February 21, 2007 at 7:15 a.m. The visa will be ready for pick up on Thursday, February 22, 2007 at 3:30 p.m.

Please contact the lawyer for further instructions.

I responded with this:

Thank You! You guys rule!

I called the agency to ask if I can arrange to travel and she said:

Yeah! Go for it!

So we got our airline tickets booked on some very crowded planes headed south on February 20th, returning February 23rd. Got reservations for hotel. Gave catsitter the dates. Obviously there is some celebrating to be done!

DELAYED AGAIN. NO REASON GIVEN.

2007-02-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

Turns out the story I was told yesterday was a bunch of crap . Our lawyer was LATE getting to the embassy yesterday. We were originally told she went but the embassy just didn't provide the pink slip for us and to come back tomorrow. Today she said she did go and she said it was delayed. No reason offered. I am unclear if there was no reason offered from the lawyer to our agency or no reason offered from the embassy to our lawyer.
Our agency suggested we email the embassy and state department to inquire what is going on. We did that but who knows if they even respond to emails in a days time or what. Or who knows if they will even respond to us at all.

Plan B is in play. This sucks.

They are trying to kill me!

2007-02-13T17:50:00.000-07:00

The embassy told our lawyer that they did not have our appointment pink slip yet and to come back tomorrow. My agency said hopefully tomorrow ours will be there. WTF!

This is suppose to be the easy part. It is not.

Nine Months

2007-02-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Gavin will be a few days short of 9 months when we arrive in Guatemala (if plans go as expected). I have been trying to imagine some of the things he will be doing. The doctor's report says he is sitting up and crawling. He is making sounds and responds when talked to. The little guy will already have a personality, likes and dislikes. I can't wait to discover 'who' our little one is.

There has been alot of babies coming home recently around the same age as Gavin. The adoptive parents have been reporting some serious grieving at this age. Long bouts of wailing, screaming all night, anxious clinging, sensitivity to who and what is around them; all very typical behaviors.

My stomach is in knots worried about the inevitable disruption we will cause in his life. As far as Gavin is concerned, he is home with his mother and family NOW, as he has been for 98% of his life. He has no idea what is about to transpire. I am trying to stay focused on what our role is to ease the transition for him. We will answer every cry swiftly. There will be lots of face to face contact during playtime. There will be lots of holding; holding during naps, holding during feeding, holding during household chores. We will go on lock-down for a couple weeks before we begin visiting to further enforce the 'you are part of this family' reality. I expect our first couple of weeks home to be quite intense.

Here are pictures of Tristan at nine months. It feels like yesterday.

Submitted! And Plan B

2007-02-08T15:24:00.000-07:00

We got word we were submitted today which means we have to wait until Tuesday to hear when our appointment is. Back to waiting. Waiting for Tuesday. Hoping Tuesday will be the day. I am sorta relieved. After this last bump in the road, I will not rest until I have an appointment at the embassy.

Before we got the news, I was actively trying to convince my husband that if our pickup date got pushed one week later, that me and Tristan would head to Guatemala on the 19th and wait it out. Gavin could get to know me and Tristan, and husband could continue working and fly down for our embassy appointment. I thought that was a great plan B to keep me sane for the rest of the process. Plan B would be huge on so many levels. Tristan without Daddy, Mommy without Daddy, Mommy alone with 2 kids in Guatemala, Daddy home alone with the cats, did I mention Mommy without Daddy. I don't think we will have to resort to this 'plan b' but it does help soothe some of my anxiety. If for some reason we do get bumped up and I do head down alone, it would only send us there a week or so ahead of the husband. I am hoping for the best and if things go as they are suppose to, we will be traveling on or around the 19th with an appointment on wednesday the 21st. And if things don't go as planned (shudder at the thought) Plan B is back on the table.

Delayed Again

2007-02-08T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well once again we were not submitted to the embassy. The reason had to do with a translator being 10 minutes late. This is ridiculous. The agency says we will go in today. If we don't get put in today we will be pushed into the following week. I am seething mad.

Travel has Been Delayed

2007-02-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

We just got the news that we were NOT submitted to the embassy on Monday as planned. Some nonsense about new embassy rules that went into effect 2/1/07 involving passport translations and some other crap I can't remember. So our attorney was turned away at the embassy because she was not properly prepared. A few more things have to be done before our file is submitted. We are told tomorrow we will be submitted. But since the embassy will only give out appointment dates on Mon, Tues, or Wed we have to wait to next Monday to get our appointment date. So that pushes us up to a possible appt date of 2/19, but wait thats Presidents Day and the embassy is closed. So possibly the 20th would be our day? Who knows. I am disgusted and cranky. I don't even think I have enough ice cream in the house for this sucky news.

Tristan is Lovin the Snow!

2007-02-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

Thoughts Swirling In My Mind..

2007-02-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

There are so many emotionally charged topics floating around in my brain, I really don't know where to put everything.

I have been thinking alot about how Tristan is not yet aware of what being adopted means. He knows he is adopted, but at his age it is just information, like his street address. It carries no burden for him, yet. He bounces through each day blissfully unaware of the loss and trauma that brought him to us today. So unaware of the occasional offending question or stares that goes with the territory of being an interracial family. Unaware of the darting eyes of fellow restaurant patrons trying to figure out which one Tristan looks like as we take our seat at a restaurant. Unaware that he will have some huge issues to resolve that may cause him pain, grief and heartbreak. Unaware that his birth country has been recently reported as a 'baby farm for rich Americans.' Unaware that people will be hostile to him just because he is 'not white.' Unaware that other children may tease him because I am not his 'real' mother. He will likely grieve for his birth family again, consciously this time. He will have those unanswered questions lurking in his mind, 'Why didn't she keep me?', 'Who do I look like?', 'Where are they now?'. My heart sinks at the thought of it all. The biggest mistake I can possibly make is to not acknowledge that some or all of these things will happen. It will happen. To deny or pretend otherwise would be a tragic mistake for my children. Its never a comfortable thought, thinking your children may be in any kind of pain. We must resolve to prepare them in dealing with anything that is thrown their way. We must accept that our love can not fill every empty space that adoption has left in his heart. We must accept our son has his own piece of history that does not include us. We will accept that he has another mother and father in the world that he will think about, wonder about and even worry about. We must acknowledge and accept that he will have some tough unique issues to grabble as he makes his way through life. We must create a safe haven at home where communication and support is aplenty so even the ugly icky feelings that may make us uncomfortable be expressed without consequence.

Many adult adoptees share that they were made to feel ungrateful or were reluctant to share their pain in fear of hurting their parents feelings. After all, the love of the adoptive family should be enough for them to get over not being raised by their birth family, no? No. The adoption practices of last generation need to die a quick death. Transcultural adult adoptees are now speaking of their experiences and we, for the sake of our children, better listen carefully to what they graciously share on the subject. No matter how sad or uncomfortable it makes us feel, we must listen. Because who really can better shed light on what its like for an adopted child from another country, than one who has actually lived through it.

Birth Certificate: RECEIVED

2007-02-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

Gavin's birth certificate was picked up yesterday. Whew! We are almost there.

Next up: Birth certificate must be translated and on to the passport office. Once this step is complete, our file is ready to be submitted to the US Embassy for an appointment. Our agency said our file should be submitted on Monday. The lawyer returns to the embassy in 48 hours to (hopefully) pick up our PINK slip. A 'pink slip' is a pink sheet of paper with the long-awaited appointment date on it, telling us when we can show up to pick up Gavin's visa. That is our ticket home! Typically the appointment date is 7 days later. So our tentative travel plans are looking something like this:

2/6/07 Monday- Lawyer submits our file to the embassy for an appointment date
2/8/07 Wednesday- Lawyer returns to embassy to pick up appointment date (usually 7 days later, hopefully there will be no problem with our paperwork otherwise we will be temporarily stalled)
2/13/07 Tuesday- Fly to Guatemala, GET BABY and meet with lawyer to recieve paperwork
2/14/07 Wednesday- Embassy Day interview
2/15/07 Thursday- return to Embassy to pick up visa
2/16/07 Friday- return home as a family of FOUR!

This would be a great, if things work out to this timeline. If anything gets pushed a day forward we are most likely moved into the next week which has a holiday in it. Fingers are crossed.

\

Status Unknown

2007-01-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

We were really hoping to hear that the new birth certificate was picked up today. But not a word yet. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe tomorrow we will hear.

Parents of TWO!

2007-01-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

It is done! We got the news the birthmom did sign off, the Adoption Deed is complete. We legally and officially belong to Gavin and he belongs to us! And it feels great, like a huge weight off our shoulder. Now we get to say things like, 'we are the parents of TWO boys', 'father of two', 'mother of two', 'hey meet our two boys', 'hey kid, where's your brother?' etc. What fun!

Now that the 'adoption' phase is complete, we move on to getting him out of Guatemala and to the US. The Adoption Deed has been submitted to the civil registry to have a new birth certificate drawn up with our last names. The new BC won't ready until next week. So that is what the next phase of waiting is. Of course Gavin's birth certificate comes from Guatemala City, the most populated city in the entire country, so it operates much slower because of the higher demand. (sigh)
We hope it will be processed quickly so we can move on the next step: Gavin's passport.

Hey here is a picture of my TWO sons. Now I have legal documentation to prove it! Ha!

Waiting, waiting and waiting

2007-01-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

We are happy. We see the light at the end of the tunnel. Several things have to happen before we are free and clear to bring Gavin home but the big hurdle (pgn) is behind us. We are now back to waiting for the next step. Waiting is the hardest part. The whole process consists of long painful bouts of waiting right to the bitter end. We spent a whole week with Tristan in Guatemala before returning home with him and I still couldn't shake the feeling that something could go wrong. It was only when our plane touched down in the good ole US of A did I truly feel like the wait was finally over. Ok, lets change that to after baggage claim, then the waiting was defintely over.

After the next step, the signing of the Adoption Deed, we are legally Gavin's parents. Hooray! At this point, Gavin's birth mom must give her fourth and final signature relinquishing her parental rights. Up until this point, she can change her mind and choose to parent her child. People are often shocked by this and feel it should not be allowed. I understand people are most likely thinking about what would happen to us (epic loss and devastation) if that happened. And believe me, the adoption not completing is the greatest fear in any adoption. It happens. But what if you take us, the adoptive parents, out of the equation: Are we really entitled to her child? No. It doesn't matter how long we stared at his picture, or that we already love him and refer to him as 'ours'. It doesn't matter how much blood, sweat and tears we have vested in the process, nor does it matter how much money we paid to agencies, officials and lawyers. She choose an adoption plan 8+ months ago. What if her situation has changed or improved and, for whatever reason, she is willing and able to care for son? Do we say, sorry, your too late, that American couple really really wants your baby. Of course not. In a perfect world, every mother should be able to care for her child if she chooses. I don't have any answers for any of this but I feel terribly conflicted writing about this as I sit here anxiously waiting to hear the news that she did sign and the Adoption Deed is complete.

So that is where we are now, waiting for word the adoption deed is completed. Next the birth certificate will be reissued with our names. To be continued.....

Did you hear me scream?

2007-01-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

We got the joyous news this afternoon. We are one happy family. We expect to travel in one month to bring our baby home.
Pack your bags Gavin, we are coming to get you!

Thinking about....

2007-01-17T09:21:00.000-07:00

...the first time ever I saw your face

My Hair is So Wrong

2007-01-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

Tristan has been extremely talkative lately. From the moment his eyes fly open in the morn until the moment he crashes at night: non-stop chatter. All chatter all the time in our happy home. There is the occasional wish for silence, but the conversations are delightful and we do find ourselves laughing more throughout the day. Seeing the world at a two year olds perspective can be quite entertaining.

Just yesterday, as Ricky drove, Me and Tristan sat in the backseat chatting about when Gavin comes home and how much fun it will be, etc. I was casually pushing my hair out of my face when Tristan suddenly stopped mid-sentence and said with concern, "Mommy, your hair is wrong."
(Ok, it was a bad hair day and its true my hair is so wrong, but I wasn't prepared for what came next.) With the look of pity and embarrassment, he leans forward and starts smoothing my hair while saying, "You don't want baby brother to see your hair wrong. I will make it pretty for you."

Yes, he was disappointed when he realized there was no way to right the terrible wrong on my head. And I wish I can say this will be the last time my hair embarrasses him, but we all know that won't be the case.

American Mu-SZAAMM! of Natural History

2007-01-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

One of our parenting resolutions for the year is to do more day-trips as a family. We are going to attempt to do one trip per month. We both found ourselves with the same weekday off so we headed into the City to visit the American Museum of Natural History. Being the avid Curious George reader, Tristan was quite familiar with museums, dinosaur bones and such. For some reason, he can not properly pronounce 'museum'. He would say, 'mu-SZAAM!'. I tried several times to help him through it but the more I said 'muu-SZEEEEEE-UMMM', the louder he would say 'mu-SZAAM!, mu-SZAAMMM!'. (sigh) His version of the word is more fun anyway.

Checking out the bones in the Discovery Room
Checking out the penguins
Mayan Calander from 966 A.D. found in Guatemala
The Butterfly Conservatory
Largest moth in the world

100 Days in PGN

2007-01-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

We have reached the dreaded '100 days in PGN' milestone. I believe we are technically considered long-timers now. Of course, there are many families struggling with much longer timelines than us and my heart goes out to them.

The authorities in Guatemala will not rush their process to approve adoptions. I understand that. It still hurts.

Updated Picture of Gavin!

2007-01-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Look at those cheeks!

We got Gavin's update today. He is 7 months old and 19.9lbs. He is a healthy and happy baby. Sitting up on his own and listens when you speak to him. The Doctors report was good.

He is clearly perfect!

The Year in Review Part 3 of 3

2007-01-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

September 2006

Looking patriotic at the beach
You were just tall enough to get on some cool rides and you loved it!
Especially when you rode with a friend!
You learned how to throw a frisbee
Running from the waves

October 2006

Picking the perfect pumpkin
Yummy apples!
Apple picking with your buddies

We welcomed October since we were finally traveling to visit to Guatemala to see Gavin. We also got to spend a nice day with friends apple and pumpkin picking. You loved the idea that you can actually pick an apple and then just eat it. I couldn't stop you. So all day you ate apples apples apples. I think the final count was five.

November 2006

Celebrating Thanksgiving with the family
Playing in the leaves

December 2006

Running with the crowd during Breakfast with Santa

Family Portrait

Looking over the past year in pictures I am amazed at how much you have grown. You are a little boy now. Not a baby. It makes me want to cry. And sometimes I do. I just want to freeze time, make the growing stop just to have more time with you at each age. It goes too fast. You are so thirsty for knowledge, I worry I won't be able to keep up. You want to know what everything is and what everything does. You listen intently when we explain things to you because you sincerely want to know. Socially you are very outgoing, approaching other children, asking them their name and joining right into groups without blinking an eye. Being painfully shy as a child, I am relieved you will not have to overcome that challenge. We finally said goodbye to your nighttime bottle which was replaced with a sippy cup. We explained that since you are a big boy now, its time to pass the bottles on to babies who really need them. You agreed to leave your bottles for Santa who will then deliver them to Gavin in Guatemala, which made you happy.

So we left the bottle behind in 2006 and hopefully 2007 will bring the end of the diapers. Big changes in the house coming up; new bedroom with a big boy bed for Tristan, a brand new master bedroom for Mom and Dad, new doors, new siding and roof on the house. Big changes in our family coming up; Gavin's long awaited home-coming. Its all good and I can't imagine it not being the best year ever. We are ready for you 2007- Bring it on!

The Year in Review Part 2 of 3

2007-01-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

July 2006

On the carousel with Aunt DeeDee
Running from the waves under Gramma's watchful eye
First Pony ride at a local street fair

Enjoying Uncle Steve's pool with Daddy

Enjoying the pool with Mommy

July was a sun-tastic month. We celebrated Independence Day at Steve & Elena's BBQ which is always a blast. You played in the pool all day. You loved the small slide so much, we had to buy one of your very own. The following day we drove to the beach to visit Gramma and Pa-pa at the beach house.

August 2006

Another day at the park

Land of Make Believe
Staying close to Mommy at Sesame Place

August was a great family month as we finally got off our butts and did stuff. We went to the Land of Make Believe which provided hours and hours of amusement rides with no lines. You loved the airplanes that you can control with the handlebar. Up and down. Up and down. Over and Over. Mommy and Daddy's stomach barely survived the day. In the afternoon we headed for the water park area but the crowd was a little rough and you finally gave in and told us you wanted to go to sleep. You were asleep before we pulled out of the parking lot to head home. The following weekend we drove out to Pennsy to visit Sesame Place. It was a bit overwhelming at first. It was hot and the lines were long so we didn't make it on many rides. You had more fun in the various wading pools and watching the characters in the parade. Next year I am sure it will be a hit.

A Year in Review Part 1 or 3

2007-01-01T17:58:00.001-07:00

January 2006

Enjoying the outdoors!

The year started with un-seasonable warm weather which brought us outside to play in the dirt. We also started collecting the paperwork for Gavin's adoption.

February 2006

Off to the park for another rare warm day in the middle of winter. Mommy was busy with more paperwork for the adoption and having our homestudy updated.

March 2006

Visiting Gramma and Pa-pa's

April 2006

Easter Fun!

Your new Harley!

Happy Birthday! You're Two! Your grandparents bought you the coolest tricycle I have ever seen- a HarleyDavidson. We also had a visit from the Easter bunny who left you a Easter basket filled with toys. You enjoyed your easter egg hunt and can't wait to do it again this year. During this month we finally completed our adoption dossier. Our file is sent to Guatemala and we wait for 'the call' about your new baby brother.

May 2006

Helping Daddy wash his car

Celebrating Daniel's First Birthday

Hanging with your buddies

This was a busy month for us. We drove to New York to celebrate cousin Daniel's first birthday, we had a BBQ at our house (very rare occasions) and your buddies Sam & Dan came over. We also didn't know it yet, but Gavin was busy being born on May 27th.

June 2006

Baby Gavin Estuardo

Birding with the binos

An exciting month for our family- we got the joyous news about Gavin on June 20th!

Christmas 2006

2006-12-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

This was Tristan's 3rd Christmas and by far the most glorious. Being 31 months old he really grasped the whole Santa-gift thing. Our Christmas celebration started out at Tristan's Grandparents house on Christmas Eve. There was a mountain of presents with toys and lots of adorable clothing. He recieved his very own toddler laptop, portable DVD player, DVD movies, snowsuit and more. The family also got to visit with the new baby in the family, the beautiful Ava Marie. She is still an itsy-bitsy sleepy wee one but spreading the joy nonetheless! Christmas Day morning was the most exciting for us as we got to watch the love of our life realize every child's dream- wake up to a heap of toys just for them. The big hits from our house: the omnidriod and Dash figurines from one of his favorite movies, The Incredibles, Curious George book set, the big castle and his aircraft carrier. Santa Claus did not disappoint!

It was on to our cousin's Sandy's house to spend the remainder of the day where we got to catch up with family, eat and be merry. The celebration continued onto Wednesday when my Dad, Pops, came over. He arrived with a carload of gifts that included Lightning McQueen talking car, air hockey game and a Big Wheel!

Now that the holiday is winding down and the gifts and decorations are being put away, I eagerly welcome the new year. We are hoping January brings us the news that the adoption is approved. We are optimistic but there tends to be less rhyme and even less reason to how the files are approved so we just don't know for sure when. Tristan talks about Gavin and flying to Guatemala just as much as he did when we returned from our visit two months ago. Our collective hearts will continue to break until we have Gavin home with us. We can only hope for soon.

Gavin's referral picture at 3 1/2 weeks old.

R.I.P. Nemo

2006-12-27T18:47:00.000-07:00

What the hell!? Nemo met the same odd demise as Gil. The boy at Petsmart said it sounds like Swimmers Bladder but gave no good insight. I have been on the internet trying to research and still can't figure out what is going on. We have a 12 gallon tank, with a filter, light, treated water reading 'safe' levels on our meter. Its clean, cold and tastefully decorated, I might add. Fishey, the first fish, is thriving and doing great. Perhaps Fishey wants to live alone and is beating up the new guys when we aren't looking? who knows. We may give the second fish thing one more try. If the next one dies, I give up!

2006-12-23T19:04:00.000-07:00

Introducing....

Nemo!

We added a new member of the clan today. 'Fishey' got his Christmas gift early. A new friend to swim with. That are getting along famously.

Tales from the Crypt

2006-12-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

My darling son, Tristan....such an interesting little boy. What is it that I can not interest you in wonderful stories about Santa Claus or Christmas? In our house, we have been stuck in Halloween for some time. You have an odd (almost disturbing) interest in all things Halloween; Mummies, Witches, Werewolves, Bats, Vampires, Skeletons, and pumpkins. As we amble through our day, you often plead with me to tell you stories about haunted houses and graveyards. Lighthearted though sometimes spooky tales about ghosts and mummies living in a haunted house and witches, skeletons, and werewolves wandering graveyards, or anything else my uncreative brain can put together.

Your interest in all things wicked isn't as unsettling as your level of absolute fascination with it. Your face lights up, you get completely enthralled and lost in these stories. The spookier the better. You suggest we curl up on the bed and snuggle while we talk our ghastly tales. You curl up on your side and I have your complete undivided attention. Its like I am unraveling all the secrets a toddler wants to know. I can get you to follow me everywhere in the house if I ramble on about a vampire or a werewolf. You have even thrown your hands to the sky and shouted 'Hooray' when I reluctantly agree to talk about mummies for the third time today and its not even 11am.

Maybe after Santa Claus leaves his bounty of gifts next week, it will generate some interest in Christmas. But the bounty of gifts include 3 new Halloween books so maybe not.

Christmas Without Gavin (turn on speakers)

2006-12-11T12:39:00.000-07:00

R.I.P Gil

2006-12-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Sunrise: unknown
Sunset: December 9, 2006
Cause: unknown

Farewell to our friend, Gil. His aquatic antics will surely be missed.

Gavin's Update

2006-12-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

We recieved Gavin's monthly update. He is a growing so fast,19.2lbs and 70cms long. He is beginning to crawl and can roll side to side. He just turned 6 months old. Christmas is almost here and we are resigned to the fact that he will not be spending it with us. Our Christmas tree with his gifts will remain as is until he is home to celebrate with us. We hope the New Year brings us good news.

2006-12-01T21:21:00.001-07:00

Winter 2006 Portraits

2006-12-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

Tristan's Ornament Collection

2006-11-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

The first item we had ever bought for Tristan was a ornament purchased in Las Vegas a few hours before we eloped. It was personalized to read "Our journey begins 11/16/03" to signify the beginning of our adoption journey. We had our traditional wedding planned for the following April but we needed our marriage license to send with our USCIS application(form you send to the government to formally ask permission to seek international adoption). To continue the tradition, we collect a new ornament for Tristan each year representing something that was significant to him throughout the year.

2006: Chosen for your love of playing outside in the yard, digging in the dirt with your shovel, raking, and watering things. If these cute little garden tools do not end up in your permanent collection it will be because I failed to get you to stop playing with them. One piece was already broken before we left the store. Hands off please!

2005: Chosen simply because Santa is shaped like a crescent moon. You are/were/continue to be a moon-obsessed kid.

2004: Handmade angel from Guatemala purchased on our trip to pick up our own 'Angel' from Gautemala.

2003: Purchased in Las Vegas the day we officially began the process to start our family. It was a beautiful day.

The Fish and The Cool Aunt

2006-11-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Husband: ‘Why don’t we get Tristan a fish?’

Me: WHAT? NO! Are you nuts? NO. Never. How dare you even suggest it? Like we need another living creature in the house that we have to FEED everyday. And CLEAN UP after. You know you have clean their tank. Uugh. Between all the cats and their damn litterboxes and medicine. Oh. Hell. No.

(Silence)

Me: I really don’t know what you were thinking even asking such a question. I don’t want fish in the house. No way. I mean, really?

(Silence)

Me: Did you even think about what you said before you said it? Fish? Come on, what’s wrong with you.

…I huff and puff and roll my eyes for another 10-15 minutes at the insanity that came out of my husband’s mouth. (Perhaps a slight over-reaction on my part to a simple question, but my husband will agree, I do tend to over-react on occasions.)

A couple of months later….

It’s Halloween. We bring Tristan in costume to the in-laws. Upon arrival, he is given a bag full of gifts. Because when you’re Tristan, every holiday is Christmas. The goodies couldn’t have been more perfectly chosen. Dash Incredible and Lightning McQueen PJ’s. Walkie-talkies. Socks to fit his quickly growing feet and a book about being a big brother. What fun! But wait there's more. Aunt Barbara invites Tristan into the dining room to see his 'special' surprise.

And there before my very eyes, sitting in the center of the table: A goldfish!

It was a cute little orange & white goldfish in a shiney little fishbowl. With pretty blue gravel and a delightful Spongebob statue in the center. The presentation was quite adorable. Tristan asked if he could take the fish out and play with him. We laughed, it was funny. Distracted I was, by the look of awe and amazement on my son’s face. He was so excited. We joked as I was warned not to flush the fish. The family assured me they don’t live but a few months. Tristan was excited and happy. A fish to call his own! (Enter: Reality) Wait! A fish that will need to be fed, cared for, cleaned up after. Oh hell no. (Insert various curse words here.)

We get home that night and since I know nothing about fish I went online to read up on how to care for a goldfish. It was bad news all around. Fishbowl- no way, they need a TANK. 10 gallons minimum per fish. With a filter. And a light. And lots of places to hide because they are nervous creatures. Who knew? You need to buy test kits and add chemicals and watch for algae growing. Also ammonia builds up and thats bad. The tank needs to be closed because they can jump out of the tank. They are schooling fish by nature, is it cruel to let them live alone for their short stay on earth? And we have a housefull of cats. Oh wait a minute, lifespan 10 years or more when taken care of properly. Apparently, the cute little fishbowls they sell at the stores for the fish are actually not meant for fish to live in. They are cruel and unsafe. Again, who knew?

So we now have a fish, what do we do? We can keep the newest member of the family prisoner in his cozy fishbowl which will guarantee a quickie, albeit premature, death OR we can go back to the store and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a big-ass fish tank, filter, tank light, chemicals, various aquatic greenery, gravel, big cavernous rock ornament and siphon. Being the humane (and stupid) family we are, we opted for the expensive option. So off to the store to upgrade 'Fishy's' living quarters.

Obviously it would be a crime to spend all that $$ on fish paraphernalia to care for one fish, we buy another goldfish. He is appropriately named ‘Gil’ in honor of Tristan’s all time favorite movie Nemo.

Tristan adores his fish. He talks to them, feeds them and even cheers them on when they race around during feeding time. For those reasons, I have made peace with our aquatic friends.

Do I wish my house were still fish-less? Yes.
Do I think a goldfish was a perfect gift for Tristan? Yes. After all, it was a love-infused gift straight from his Aunt Barbara's heart. She indulges Tristan with things that are wildly exciting for him, slightly nerve wracking to us, the parents. Dora the Jeep (wow that jeep goes fast!), gumball machine (he can't have gum!), and glass ornaments from Nemo (oops, Nemo broke!) and so on. She will be the one Tristan will run to when we don't understand his rebellious teenager ways. She will be the one he calls when he needs a ride to the mall or a party or anywhere else that being taxied by your parents would be nothing short of social suicide. She will totally get that and comply. Because she is the 'cool' aunt. Every kid needs one of those in their life.

Loving Another Child

2006-11-03T18:24:00.001-07:00

When we started comtemplating a second child I had wondered (and worried) how the decision will affect Tristan. I know despite the normal ‘stuff’ a toddler goes through when a new baby arrives on the scene, the benefits would far outweigh the negatives.
Sure, there would be some jealousy, some sibling rivalry, some acting out perhaps, but Tristan would be just fine. All would be good.

But then I would wonder, “What about me?” Before the thoughts of another child entered the scene, I always felt there was no way I could possibly love anything more than him. No way, no how. End of story. He rises and sets the sun in my world.

Of course, I would love my next child, but could lightnening strike twice? Convinced am I that Tristan was sooo meant to be my son, could the universe get it right a second time too? Could I be blessed with another child that fits so perfectly in my heart? Really, What were the chances? Would my heart feel torn....now having to divide my attention between two children? Could another child captivate me in the way Tristan has? Anyone I pondered this with assured me they would. But I just couldn’t imagine it. I had to experience it. I knew once I met our new son, it would become clear.

As I suspected, it only took mere moments with Gavin to have my answers: Yes, lightnening DID strike twice! The universe DID get it right a second time! And yes! Gavin does fit so perfectly into my heart and into our family. He is completely perfect and captivated me instantly. Apparently, you do not have to love your first child less to love a second. And I do have the capacity to love two children insanely and recklessly. As a wise friend told me, instead of 'sharing' your heart, you will just grow another one. Why wasn't that clear to me before? Maybe because I am an only child and did not have the life experience of sharing my parents or having siblings. Or maybe I am just silly.

Another amazing surprise. Any worries I had about my first boy feeling slighted were immediately squashed. In our first moments as the family of four, Tristan sat shoulder to shoulder with me peppering Gavin’s forehead with kisses, tickling his belly, gently touching his hands and toes. He doted over him and assisted in his care the best he could. Always listening carefully and trying his hardest to do things just right for him. And just as it should be, I saw the beginnings of an amazing relationship Tristan and Gavin will have.

Ever since we returned home from our visit, Tristan's favorite book, read at least 10 times a day at his request is 'I'm a Big Brother.' I think Tristan misses Gavin just as much as we do. It's an embarrassment of riches, having these two remarkable children in our life.

Monthly Medical Update

2006-11-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

We got Gavin's updated weight: 16.9lbs & 27 1/8 inches long, excellent growth and development. We really couldn't be happier.

The intensity of the process goes up about 1000% once you hold that baby in your arms. It has been a long hard week and we found out for now our case is stalled until a certain document is recieved. I can't even obsess about dates until our file is re-submitted back into PGN.

November is going to be one long month.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

2006... A monkey! 2005... A Rooster!

2004... A Dinosaur!

Back Home. Missing Gavin.

2006-10-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

We returned our little guy back to his foster mom on Friday. Of course, we are lucky enough to feel confident that he is in good care but of course we would rather have him home with us.

Apparently, there was a problem with the comments but that has been corrected.

And we found out that Ricky's Dad locked my keys in the car. He drove us to the airport in my car. But all was straightened out before we got home. He found a spare car key in our house. I repeated that over in my head about 100 times because I swear I didn't have a spare car key. If I did, I certainly wouldn't know where to find it. But he found it. In my house. How? I am completely baffled.

We took about 225 pictures of Gavin and Tristan. Must share more.

You can talk to us!

2006-10-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

I have discovered there is a 'comments' option on this blog. If you look on the bottom of the post you can click on the link labelled comments and leave us a note.

Things we have learned about Gavin:
1. He has 2 bottom teeth and bunch more waiting to pop!
2. He can grab toys quite well and roll over from belly to back.
3. He can pull his head up while on his belly.
4. He LOVES getting his diaper change! Smiles as soon as you open his diaper.
5. His foster mom lives quite far from Guatemala city.
6. Gavin was born in Livingston, not far from where Tristan was born. It is very tropical there.
7. He is constantly sweaty!

Tristan is being an awesome big brother!

HE HAS A NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

GAVIN ESTUARDO

Baby crying...gotta go!

Greetings from Guatemala

2006-10-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

We are here! We are safe! Traveling was uneventful and exhausting. We arrived at the Marriot about noon. The airport was very non-threatening but we made an effort to go un-noticed. That proved difficult with Tristan stating loudly and clearly how -He wants to go see his baby brother NOW! Driving to the Marriot was a bit nerve wracking since we were following some type of convoy with the Guatemalan Army (fatigues and guns) right in front of us. Then there were some armed police in the parking lot of the Marriot that made me nervous but I jumped out with Tristan and high tailed it into the hotel. There are sooo many families here walking around with their babies it seems like things are back to normal.

His Royal Cuteness arrived about 5pm with his fostermom. He has the chubbiest thighs I have ever seen! Adorable! And he doles out the smiles like they are candy. Our day started out last night about 2:30am when we headed for the airport. Every other minute from that moment was Tristan asking to meet baby brother. Well after 22 hours up and a brief nap on the plane..... This was Tristan 2 minutes before Baby Brother arrived.

Can you believe it! Eventually he woke up in the middle of the celebration and was confused and a bit ornery. Eventually he started laughing when the baby started laughing at him. Here is their first introduction:

We love his foster mom. She was very traditional Mayan and we both got great vibes from her. Estuardo is her third foster child. He seems in great health, chunky, no diaper rash, happy as can be. He is soundly sleeping at 8pm just like she told us he would be. And he will up at 5:30am as she promised. Tristan has been taking the 'new baby in the house' ok. He has gotten a bit upset when the baby was crying but we are explaining to him that its ok if the baby cries. But he has also gotten very good at making the baby laugh by dancing and doing peekaboo. All 3 boys are sleeping in the room now and I am eager to join. Here are some highlights.

Ignore my closed eyes, its the only picture we have of the 2 boys facing the camera.

Troubling News Before Our Visit

2006-10-19T14:19:00.000-07:00

We are leaving in 5 days to go visit Estuardo at the Marriot. This is what I read today. One woman got this message from their agency:

We just received information that the Attorney General of Guatemala is going
to issue an order affecting adoptions in Guatemala. The order requires all
adoption cases to have a judicial letter from the
family court authorizing
the child to go to foster care. All adoption cases in Guatemala do not have such
judicial letter because, according to the attorneys, it is not required by law.
According to this order any person who carries a child or any adoption document
without the judicial letter will be detained by the authorities (police). All
other persons involved in the adoption case (social worker, facilitator,
attorney, etc.) will also be detained. The child will be brought to a Guatemalan
orphanage.

The Guatemalan adoption attorneys will meet tomorrow in order
to discuss the matter and to stop the order. According to the Guatemalan
adoption attorneys the Attorney General is exceeding his
functions and
misinterpreting the law.

The following information was posted on Guatadopt.com, a highly respected source for Guatemalan adoptions information and news.
The Directive by Ministra Publica

Last night, we received reports
from Guatemala of a "Directive" that MIGHT have been the reason for the recent
reports of police harrassment. (Several parents witnessed foster mothers being
harrassed and possibly detained in the front of several hotels. I've also been
told that a diplomatic visit to the Marriott last night might have also added to
the unease of parents). We have spent a good portion of the morning calling our
contacts and finding out the status. Before we discuss the supposed "Directive",
let me say that our sources are telling us that it HAS BEEN RESCINDED, is no
longer in effect , is defunct or is not an issue. The Department of State is
aware of the situation and is also working to resolve any outstanding issues.

What we have been told is there was a 13 page "Directive" issued by the
Ministra Publica with an effective date of October 1st which was issued to
Prosecutors. It stated that custody of a child in the adoption process was only
legal if the custodian had a judicial court order. Since the adoption process is
non-judicial at this time, the government issued custodial documents that the
foster mothers currently have in their possession (aka the "avis would not be
considered legal.
Our reports indicate that language was very disturbing in
how it described the current system as being something like organized crime and
gave free reign for the police to enter hotels in search of "falsified
documents" which by the wording of the Directive could include custody papers
not issued by the court.
Several agencies and attorneys felt this was the
reason for the recent reports of foster mother harrassment and have have put a
stop to visitation. Even though it is supposedly no longer in effect, I do not
advise visitation travel at this time. If you are already in Guatemala, do not
venture outside of your room with your child if at all possible. It is always a
good idea to keep the US Embassy phone number at hand when you are in another
country. It is also worth the effort to get a cell phone (rent or buy) and have
it handy at all times (along with either your attorney's phone number and/or
your agency's). Do not relinquish papers to anyone without first attempting to
get in touch with the Embassy. While I hope that parents will not be "targeted",
I would not dismiss the possibility. Most importantly, if your agency or
attorney informs you that they will not bring your child to the hotel to
visit...please understand that they are probably pretty concerned about the
current situation. If a child is detained, it could take several months for the
false arrest or detainment to be cleared.

WHAT??!!

Our lawyers have stated it is safe and OK to travel. We are leaving 10/24/06.

Tristan and Pa-pa

2006-10-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

Its 10am in the morning on a typical day and I hear the whirring of the lawnmower in the backyard. I know exactly what is about to transpire…..

Tristan: (hearing the noise, stops dead in his tracks) “Mommy, Whats that noise??”
Me: (teasing) “What noise??”

(Tristan runs to the window to confirm)
(Tristan spots Pa-pa in the backyard mowing the lawn)
Tristan: “Mommy, Pa-pa is here! HOORAY!! PA-PA IS HERE! HOO-RAY!!!”

You do what looks like a victory lap around the dining room. You run from window to window to get closer. The joy could not be contained. You scream out to him even though the window is closed and he can’t hear you. You don’t care. You continue to holler out the window:

“Pa-pa whatcha doing??”
“Pa-pa Can I help you??”
“Pa-pa whatcha doing??”
“Pa-pa, Can I help you??”
“Mommy, Pa-Pa is OUTSIDE!!! I want to go outside! Can I go outside??”

An outsider might think you haven’t seen your grandfather in months, but I giggle because I know you saw him last night. YOU JUST LOVE YOUR GRANDFATHER. You want to do what he does. You want to help him with whatever chore he is doing. You want to go where he goes. Every child should have someone in their life that gives them such happiness. The type of happiness that causes them to erupt into cheers just by their mere presence.

Updated Pictures!

2006-10-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

We recieved pictures of you today. You are wearing the outfit we sent down to you last month. You are laughing and seem perfectly happy. Weighing in at 15lbs, looks like you are being fed very well too. See ya soon!
Love and Hugs,
Mom, Dad & Tristan

DNA & Pre-Approval

2006-09-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

Dearest Estuardo, Our case is slowly moving along. We miss you and we haven't even met you yet. Here at home we talk about you all the time. Your big brother has many things he wants to show you and everytime he sees a plane going over head, he reminds us that we are going on a plane to visit baby brother. Your first name has not been decided yet but don't worry it will be a classy cool name.
Love, Hugs & Kisses,
Mom, Dad, & Tristan

Seaside 2006

2006-09-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

A perfect weekend. You played in the sand, chased waves, played with a Frisbee, dug holes in the sand, and threw seashells into the water. Your grandmother and Aunt doted on you and fussed over you. Your grandfather catered to your every request of play and attention. We all basked in your light as we watched you take on the world. You get wiser and bolder every day.

You were old enough to go on some of the kiddie rides. You were brave and nothing seemed to rattle you. When the rollercoaster took off a bit faster than I had expected, I felt weak inside hoping you were not afraid. The color drained from my face but you were not only fine, you wanted to go on again. Some rides your expression was serious but each time you would always say, “I want to do that again”, assuring me you enjoyed it. The faster or higher the rides the more you seemed to enjoy it. The race car that rotated on a oval whipped us around the corner quite fast causing us to slide to one side. You yelled ‘Whooooaaa’ and laughed at each turn. By the end of the second night, we went on a spinning air balloon where you waved down to the family yelling “Hey everybody!” as you threw your head back in joy.

I can’t imagine seeing anything more thrilling, beautiful or satisfying than You just being You. Your ability to relate your world to us in words are way beyond your years. Your acute observations of your surroundings render me speechless. The way you approach other children eager to be social and make friends is pure sweetness. The youthful innocence which enables you the power to burst forward through life makes me want to protect you beyond comprehension. The spontaneous way you casually break into dance when you hear music cracks me up.

The thing that moves me the most is the sound of your laughter. Those squealing belly laughs. A lifetime of pain fades when I hear your laugh. I wish I can bottle it and take it with me. I hear it most when you are playing with your father. This weekend, there was even more hysterical laughter when Pa-pa played chase with you. It was late, we thought you would of fallen asleep in the car on the way home from the boardwalk. Instead you arrive home eager to bait Pa-pa into a game a chase and tackle in the living room. Bedtime will wait, there is way too much fun going on.

I am not sure how me and your father are managing to raise such a cool kid. And you are such a darn cool kid. You have so many facets to your personality, and I love each one completely and equally.

The Things He Says

2006-08-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

Many people we meet tell us how well Tristan speaks. I've been asked does he have siblings? No I reply, just mommy and daddy, who talk to him everyday like the little man he is. I also think that all the books we have read and continue to read to him have increased his vocabulary. Tristan has been putting together sentences for a while now. But lately he comes out with the funniest things, like most kids do. As we were getting ready for bed one night Tristan decided we should play the piano. I was relagated to the last five keys on the toy aligator piano. When I attempted to go beyond my keys I was told "to be patient, you have to wait your turn". These little quips are coming more frequently. I wished I had a better memory so I can relate more. Connie told me one the other day how Tristan was trying to show mommy which keys we use to play Mr. Do. He would say "mommy look at my face mommy". And how he would grab her face and say "are you listening to me". We can't help but laugh when we relate these stories to each other.

2006-08-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Son Tristan,

This is the month the tides have turned. You have excelled at pushing my buttons, testing your limits and driving me plum crazy. And you do it all looking angelic.

Love, Your Very Frazzled Mother.

Febrile Seizures

2006-08-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

It was an ordinary Sunday in June. Tristan felt a little feverish before bed but only had a temp of 100. Ricky was giving Tristan his bedtime bottle while I went upstairs to start the laundry. Maybe 5-10 minutes later I hear my husband calling for me to come downstairs that something was wrong. I ran downstairs and found Tristan in a full blown seizure. His body was jerking around and his eyes were rolled behind his head. My hands were shaking so bad I dropped the phone and it took 4 times before I was able to dial 911 correctly.

While waiting for the ambulance, Tristan turned blue and remained unconscious. Ricky was trying to clear his airway when Tristan started seizing again which caused him to clench his jaw shut on Ricky’s fingers. When the ambulance arrived, they inserted a hard plastic tube to release his fingers and check Tristan’s throat. He was rushed to the hospital where they took his vitals, did blood and urine tests. They gave him a suppository and soaked him with cool towels to reduce his fever. They diagnosed him with a double ear infection and febrile seizures. They told us he is likely to have episodes in the future. During the followup to our pediatrician we were told he did not have ear infections, he had coxsackie virus which caused the high fevers and a throat infection. We also discovered that when seizures are associated with fevers, they are not considered dangerous.

The minutes of uncertainty when Tristan was unconscious, seizing and blue were by far the most horrifying moments of my life. I will never forget the terror in my husbands voice. I will never forget feeling so helpless not knowing what to do to help my son. I will never forget the tidal wave of relief when the Doctors assured us everything was OK. Our son left the hospital seemingly no worse for wear, apple juice drink in hand, asking a million questions about what everybody was doing. We were relieved and thankful. Thankful that we walked away from this episode with our child and his health in tact. Sorry for the parents and their children that weren't so fortunate. We were blessed. So very blessed.

Tristan plans for Baby Brother

2006-07-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

While looking at Estuardo's new pictures, me and Tristan chatted excitedly about how wonderful life will be when we bring baby brother home. I told him he will be the big brother who will have to teach him very important things. Tristan spoke excitedly about how he will share his toys and teach him things about trucks and movies, etc. But not without some exceptions and rules that we need to make note of:

Tristan will read books to his brother, and will even let him pick out the books.
Brother can ride his tricycle, but NOT the Dora Jeep. (I asked twice to clarify and unfortunately no Dora Jeep).
He originally offered to share the Winnie the Pooh blankie as long as brother will give it back. After further consideration, Tristan decided it best to share his green blankie and keep the Pooh blankie to himself.

Dad Adds His 2 Cents

2006-07-21T07:08:00.000-07:00

It was wonderful news we received on June 26th. We got our referral of a baby boy. I was already asleep when Connie came home bursting at the seems after getting the e-mail. She could barely contain herself waking me up to tell me the news. Estuardo is a beautiful boy. We are really blessed to have received a second healthy, beautiful child. I talk of a baby brother often to Tristan to prepare him for his arrival. Tristan and I talk of his new room with the fire engine bed. When Tristan ask to talk of happy things, I've added his baby brother to the list of the park, movies and running around. Playing chase through the living room, dining room and kitchen is one of our favorite things to do. But due to dad's age and current physical condition, we take many breaks. Which usually end up with Tristan doing a flying dive onto daddy's chest. Which leads to rolling and tumbling on the floor. Which leads to me chasing him through the kitchen, living and dining rooms. Repeat if necessary. Tristan also enjoys to rumm, rumm with the his cars and trucks. Tristan really enjoys being tickled. I will often blow bubbles on his belly or neck and after an out burst of giggles and laughs comes, do it again daddy. Which I am more than happy to do. After a half dozen of do it again daddy, I like to move on to something else. Only because I'm out of breath. I really need to start exercising, especially with another one on the way. I can't say how much I love my son because it cannot be expressed. I look at his face, his beautiful face with the happy eyes and big smile and just have to tell him so. I love you!

"A Charmer"

2006-07-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

We got an email that Estuardo was seen by the pediatrician for his check-up on July 17th. At 7 1/2 weeks old, he is a whopping 10lbs and 59cms long. The Doctor noted he was 'a charmer' and doing excellent physically and neurologically. We have his pictures scattered around the house and Tristan frequently looks at them calling him his baby brother.

The process is going very slowly, waiting for DNA & Family Court to be scheduled.
We have a long road ahead of us, and it will get only more difficult as we wait to meet our bundle of joy.

Inspiring the Imagination

2006-07-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

I took you for a haircut the other day. In the past, haircuts were accompanied with tears and sometimes hysterics. This time, you were excited about the idea of a haircut. You bounced around happily in the waiting area with anticipation of 'the haircut'. I expected things to turn ugly once we were ushered to the chair, but you ran ahead of me without pause. I plopped you on the booster chair and the hairdresser wrapped a colorful smock around you. Again, you were fine. She asked you what color balloon you would be wanting afterwards, purple or yellow? You thought for a moment then decided yellow.

You sat patiently as she buzzed, trimmed and cut. I fussed about how handsome and brave you were. I slipped $3 in your hand to tip the hairdresser, we said our thank you's and goodbyes. With yellow balloon in hand, we skipped out happily.

On the drive home, I talked about how we will call daddy when we get home to tell him about your haircut and the balloon you got because you were so brave. As we turned the corner, the balloon flies right out the window. We looked at each other surprised. Your eyes darted around the car searching for the balloon. You were crushed and pleaded with me to get the balloon back. I tried to explain that the balloon flew out the window and into the sky and now we can't reach it. I quickly realized I needed to elaborate on this to diffuse the situation. So, I told you the balloon flew into the sky and then a birdie flew away with it. I glanced in the mirror to see you digesting this new bit of information. You were intrigued about this bird. What is with this bird. And what was its business with your balloon? You pressed on for details..

Tristan: Where did the birdie go?

Me: She took the balloon and flew up in the sky. But that's ok....

Tristan: (cuts me off) Where did the birdie fly to?

Me: She flew ...umm....into the sky

Tristan: Where did the birdie take the balloon?

Me: ...I don't know.....she flew away...into the sky..

Tristan: (cuts me off) The nest!! Did she bring the balloon to the nest??

Me: WHY YES!!! She took the balloon back to her nest...Of course..

Tristan: To the babies?

Me: YES!! The Mommy-bird took the balloon back to her babies in the nest..

Tristan: The babies might like the balloon.

Me: YES!! Now the babies are playing with the balloon.

Tristan: YES!

Me: You got to enjoy the balloon and now the birdie family can enjoy the balloon!

(pauses)

Tristan: Where did the balloon go Mommy?

Me: (Ha, I know this one!) The balloon flew out the window and the mommy-birdie took it back to the nest so her babies can play with it. Now the babies are so happy to have Tristan's balloon to play with. And when the Daddy-bird gets home from work, he will be happy because the babies have a balloon to play with!

Tristan: (finally satisfied with my response, he dismisses me by nodding and then directs his attention out the car window)

The Big Brother

2006-06-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

I introduced Tristan to your baby picture today. I told him he will soon be a big brother. He enthusiastically studied the photo for a few moments, then walked over to his shopping cart, placed the photo face up in the shopping cart seat, then strolled it around upstairs.

I hope he is that hospitable when you are home and he realizes you are not just a photograph.

It's a Boy!

2006-06-27T16:12:00.000-07:00

Dearest Baby Estuardo,
Last night the agency sent us a picture of you with your name and birthdate. Today, we carry your pictures everywhere. You are precious and perfect. You are sleeping peacefully and look like an angel. Your Mom, Dad and brother are here waiting to love you to pieces. Stay safe sweetie, we are doing everything we can to bring you home.

Love, Hugs & Kisses,
Mom, Dad & Tristan

Defiant to the 10th Power

2006-06-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

Why is it that, whenever I tell you NOT to do something, you ignore me and continue the offense with olympic determination. Why?

I use my most foreboding voice with authoritative body language. I get down to your level and calmly state my directions. I follow thru with all my threats to take away toys or give you a time-out. When you are placed in a time-out, you act shocked and deceived as if you had no idea. Yet you are not deterred. Once it has been decided that you shouldn’t be doing said activity, it becomes the ONLY thing you want to do. Why?

I have tried to ignore the disobedient behavior hoping you would get bored and move on. That doesn’t work as you will only move closer to give me a better view. If that doesn’t get my attention you will just come over and describe to me what you are doing. What’s up with that?

One morning I was trying to find the energy to get out of bed and you were running wild chasing the cats. I was tired, dizzy and really didn't want to have to fly out of bed to stop you. I yelled for you to stop chasing the cats with all the sternness I could muster at that ungodly hour. I still hear you running. I now hear the cats running for their lives. Out of sheer exhaustion, I pulled out the big guns: I threatened to take your blankie away if you don’t stop. Ha! I smugly thought for sure that would stop you in your tracks. Losing that precious blankie, no way! The running stops, I feel victorious!

I roll over and there it lays like a sacrifical offering. Your blankie laying there next to the bed. I suppose you decided the crime was indeed worth the punishment. You actually went into your room, collected the threatened item, and left it for me next to the bed. What the...!!

I don’t know if I was more shocked that you thought chasing the cats offered you more in life than your precious blankie. Or that you were kind enough or stupid enough or bold enough to actually bring the blankie TO ME.

Jimmy

2006-06-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

Our mothers were sisters, inseparable and housewives with young children. That made me and my cousin Jimmy constant companions throughout childhood. Weekdays, weekends, holidays and vacations,-didn’t matter we were always together. When we hit the teenage years, we lived in the same town and went to the same school, our circles of friends overlapped. I dated his friends, He dated mine. Our friends dated each other. On the weekends, my aunts house served as home base for all of us to reconvene before and after our social excursions and errands. Things have changed drastically over the years but I hold those memories close to my heart.

There was a time when Jimmy was friendly and gregarious with lots of friends. He was fearless and easy-going. He was an instigator with a devilish laugh and could talk his way out of anything. Unfortunately, it was not enough to escape the destruction of alcohol. The last few years of his life spent living bottle to bottle, each shoving him closer to the inevitable tragic end. He drank until his body completely failed. He was 9 months younger than me. He died when he was 35 years old. Today was his birthday.

I visited the cemetery twice since he died. Each time, I sat at the foot of his grave on the bench and pondered how things could of been different for him. Watching alcohol defeat him over the years was like watching a voilent train wreck in slow motion. You can see where it came from, map out where it was heading, and even move out of the way. Any attempts to divert, slow or stop the train in its path of destruction were unsuccessful.
How I wish things turned out differently for him.

Can I have 'this' forever?

2006-05-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

'This' meaning...
- Your little hands reaching up at me to be picked up.
- Running to me to kiss the boo-boos away because my kisses are magic and they really do make it all better (for now).
- Your face lighting up when I ask you if you want to take a walk with me down the street or just outside to check the mail.
-Holding my hand without protest when we walk.
- Family hugs at your request.
- The spectacular display of glee and joy when you father gets home from work. Oh, the singing, the jumping, the love. It will never get old.
- Crying "I want Mommy back" on the phone when I am at work because you miss me.
- Orders from you to "sit right there" because you just want me there while you play.
- Watching your innocent face reflect nothing but carefree wonder and interest in what the world has to offer you.

Reminding myself to never take it for granted because...
-soon you will be too heavy to scoop up in my arms.
-my kisses will not always be magic.
-checking the mail will be something you can do all by yourself.
-one day you will shun or be embarrassed to hold my hand.
-few will be the days that you want me there just because.

Parenting Decisions

2006-05-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be a good idea to recap our 'parenting decisions' over the past 2 years. This will be fun (or horrifying) to read 20 years from now.
Lets assume we made these decisions because we believed it was the best thing for you at the time and not because we were too lazy to do it any other way.
So far so good, you are a delightful, cool, funny kid. And if things don't turn out too well down the road, we can use this as a 'what NOT to do' list.

1) We rocked you to sleep.
2) We rarely put you in a stroller, we held you or used a wrap/baby bjorn.
3) We rarely put you in a bouncy seat or swing.
4)You love to be read to and we read to you often.
5) You were never left to 'cry it out'. We did not practice sleep training.
6) We co-slept. You slept next to our bed in a co-sleeper. Then you slept in your crib. Then you slept in our bed. Sometimes you slept in your crib all night. Sometimes you slept all night in our bed. Sometimes half and half. We just refuse to make an issue over where you slept. It worked for you and it worked for us.
7)Naptime was flexible. We never forced a particular time though you were pretty consistent.
7)You were never away from us overnight.
8)You were never hit, slapped or spanked. And never will be.
9)You still get a bottle with milk before bed. And sometimes another bottle in early morning.
10)You are usually in trouble for harrassing the cats, yelling, throwing or banging toys. Discipline involves taking the toy away or timeout in the crib for 2 minutes.
11)Your diet consists of mostly fruits, veggies, whole grain bread and pastas, veggie meat products, beans, milk, yogurt, vitamin waters, healthy crackers, eggs, oatmeal,pizza,no junk food, no soda or sugared drinks.
12)We gave you ice cream on your 2nd birthday- you didn't like it.
13)We used Huggie diampers, you were allergic to Pampers. We used plain vaseline as a diaper rash preventative. You were never prone to diaper rashes.
14)You had rotavirus when you were 1. A horrible stomach virus when you were about 20 months. You have had the occasional common cold.

to be continued......

Do What You Love

2006-05-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

As I fumble though my day, living out my life decisions and destiny, I wonder what life will bring for you. I wonder what can I do today that will prepare you for all the tomorrows. I feel like my brain is a beehive and the bees buzzing about represent all the hopes and dreams I wish for you. Some are obvious, some are grand and some are simple.

Here is one that is near and dear to my heart: Follow a career path that is exciting and interesting to you. A wise person said, "Do what you love and the money will follow." This is a brilliant quote. Let what interests and excites lead the way .

Me and your father don't have careers. We have jobs. Soul-sucking, brain-numbing jobs. Forty hours a week spent wishing our lives away. We wish for breaktime to come quickly. We count the hours until quitting time. Then we count the days of the week hoping the weekend gets here a little quicker. Then on Monday its rinse and repeat.

I was tempted to call my choice of employment 'a regret.' But honestly, I don't regret staying with my job. The company I work for has treated me well in some important ways. Since I began working at 20 years old, I have been paid a nice salary with great health benefits and a good retirement plan. Between me and your father's paycheck, we cover the bills, plus enjoy a little extra on the side. I do not have a college education, yet I sit shoulder to shoulder with college graduates that make the same salary. I sit at a desk surrounded by pictures of you. I play on the computer to pass time. Sometimes I work hard, sometimes I barely work at all. I don't have to do physical labor, I sit safely in a air-conditioned, occasionally heated office. I don't have to take work home with me or answer to a boss after-hours. The company views me as expendable and easily replaced, but I am ok with that. In addition, my job has connected me to some, if not all of my dearest friends. I doubt our paths would have crossed if we did not end up working together. If life gave me a do-over, I would pass.

But oh the thought.....the thought of being excited about your job. What a gift to toil the hours away doing something interesting or important to you. Achieving something that makes you proud. Having some of your days fly by becaused you were consumed with the task at hand. Pure joy!

Whatever career path you do choose: Be a dependable and hard worker. Earn your living honestly and ethically. Get up and go to work everyday. Do not waste your time with get rich quick schemes or seek the easy way out. Make the effort to find your niche, it WILL be worth it.

Winnie the Pooh Blankie

2006-05-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

The Winnie the Pooh Blankie is certainly becoming legendary in our home. Since its dragged around my house, its usually ratty and full of cat hair. When my son is tired, hungry or cranky he goes in search of his cherished blankie. (And its best for all involved if he finds it.) We occasionally go out and forget to bring blankie along. We pay the price usually on the ride home when he repeats over and over 'I need my blankie, please.'

He has a certain technique that involves finding the right 'spot' on the blanket and then clutching that spot to stroke his chin, lip or cheek. There is a scientific approach to how he arranges the blanket around him. Randomly pulling the blanket to his face is just not how its done.

Once in a blue moon, while trying to lull him to sleep, my son will reach over and rub the blankie on my face. Sure, its just a quiet gesture from a sleepy toddler but I can't help but feel honored. I mean really, if that doesn't scream 'I love you,' I don't know what does.

Daddys Back

2006-04-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

Alright,I have been remiss in keeping the blog up to date with Tristan's exploits. But thanks to his mommy, we now have a good history of the past year and a half of our time with our wonderful and beautiful son. And I have to add, mommy has been doing a wonderful job. Not only does she organize the house our finances and any paper work, such as that for our new adoiption, but she has the energy, love and understanding to mold Tristan into wonderful child. Connie, I love you and the way you love our son. It makes me so happy just to watch you interact with Tristan and see how much he loves his mommy. I know you say he is a daddy's boy, but I beg to differ.
Tristan turned two, two weeks ago and when looking at the pictures taken at his birthday party, he looks like such a mature little man. You always hear they grow up fast, but it still doesn't prepare you for it. He recieved many nice gifts from grandma, pa pa, pops, Aunt DeDe, Aunt Barbara and Uncle Bobby & Aunt Suzie. Tristan really enjoyed opening all his gifts. We don't know where to put them all. We spent a good part of the day on the deck because it was such a beautiful day. The first time we used it since pa pa painted it. Tristan played with his uncle Bobby in the yard, riding his new bike, which he can't reach the peddles. Or just running thru the neighbor's yards. The food was good to. It was a good day. We also learned that uncle Bobby and aunt Suzie are expecting a baby in December. Wonderful news, but we haven't broken the news about our plans for a second adoption, which should be complete with a little luck and good fortune by the end of the year. The family won't know what to do when we go from one to three children in the family.
We celebrated Easter, first at our house than at grandma's. Mommy made a nice basket of toys and books. No candy yet, we save that for us. Tristan also enjoyed finding the eggs mommy hid around the house and the surprises inside of them. Than onto papa's for more gifts from the family. Really, we don't know where to put all of them. Another beautiful day of playing in the yard with the golf set. We also got a chance to visit with daddy's friends from the neighborhood, Anthony, Joey and Frankie Buonanno. They were all impressed with Tristan, how smart and beautiful he is. Before leaving, we entertanined them by singing or repertoire of songs, Sponge Bob Square Pants, the Theme to Barretta and the Texas theme song. We left when Tristan started getting tired. He fell asleep in the car and woke up when we got home. Mommy gave him a bottle and after finishing it, thought it was time to get up and play again. Like he did for the past two nights. I told mommy to take him upsatirs and before long he was asleep again for the night. It was a long day and he was exhausted. God I love that little man.

Happy 2nd Birthday!

2006-04-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Some random thoughts about what you've been up to the past year.

One year ago you were just uttering your first words, today you speak in full sentences and use thousands of words. Mommy often gets stopped when we are out in public because they can’t believe how well you are speaking. You are way beyond your years in the language/speech department. We are so proud.

You never walk, you run.

You love your winnie the pooh blankie.

You are stubborn and rarely can be talked into or out of anything. 99% of the time- no means NO.

Mommy and Daddy are blessed with spontaneous forms of affection. Many hugs and sometimes kisses. When I get an unsolicited hug accompanied with an ‘I love you mommy’ I still tear up.

You are polite. You say “please” and “thank you.” You say “god bless you” when you hear us sneeze. You often say “Bye” and “Have a nice day” to the store clerk when we are leaving. When Mommy goes to work you will say “I will talk to you on the phone later mommy” and “Be Careful”.

You know every type of truck on the road and will yell them out as we pass- Cherry Picker! Dump truck! Digger! Crane! Bus!

You know the basic colors (including goldenrod), the alphabet and you can count to 10.

You enjoy when we pretend to cry so you can come offer a sympathetic hug.

Cd's you are enjoying: 104 Silly Songs, Barney, JoJo's Circus. Some favorites: It's Silly Time, Yankee Doodle, The Wheels on the Bus, Rain Rain Go Way, I Love You and Old Macdonald's Farm.

You prefer Mommy to wear a ponytail in her hair. If I take it out, you ask me where it went. You giggle happily if I put it back in. I can't figure out why.

You weigh about 26lbs and are 34 inches tall. You are rarely sick. I don’t believe you even had a cold this past year. You did have a stomach virus that you picked up at the gym’s playroom. You have had your share of bumps and bruises-usually on your face.

You know the names to all of the cats in our house.

Your favorites foods this past year have been; tomatoes, broccoli, asparagus, noodles, strawberries, grapes, beans, carrots.

You only have 8 teeth so far.

You love taking a bath or a shower.

You enjoy riding in the car.

You love Nemo and all the characters in the movie. You know all of their names and have ten different Nemo books. You know the story and can repeat some scenes in detail. You have also been watching: Movies: Shark Tale, Lady & the Tramp, Bambi, Alice in wonderland. TV: Wonderpets, Dora the Explorer, Go Diego Go, Sesame Street and The Wiggles.

You can recite your street address.

Your memory is excellent (in a sorta spooky way).

I thought a lot about your birthmom, Marta, today and I am sure she has thought a lot about you today. You are still too young to understand what she means in your life but you will someday. So for you my son, and for Marta, my wish is that she somehow knows how you are loved by many, healthy, happy, thriving, and safe here with your Mommy and Daddy.

We are so proud of you and who you have become. Happy Birthday Tristan! We love you, Always and Forever.

Growing up too fast

2006-03-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today as I watched you played with your sticker book I realized you are growing up too fast. Up until a few days ago, you couldn't play with your stickers without me. Your little fingers weren't able to peel the stickers. I showed you how to bend the paper so the edge would stick up for you to grab and peel the sticker. Now you are peeling and sticking like a pro.
Everyday you learn something new: a new word, a new skill, a new discovery, a new algebra equasion. Yes you are a brilliant child. Everyday you need me a tiny bit less. You are becoming independent, straying further from my side during our daily routines. You play longer without seeking me out. I am proud of you but still I want you to stay close to me. You make my days rewarding and joyous. You keep me company. You make me laugh so hard my eyes tear. I make you laugh. We talk. We laugh some more. We are silly. You make life worthy. You make my life important. You make me important because I am your mom.
We talked over breakfast how we were going to the gym today and how you get to go to the playroom today. I cheerfully spoke how much fun you had last week with the dinosaurs and the other boys and girls there. You informed me you were going to cry for mommy there. But you still wanted to go. I assured you I will be right in the next room exercising and you will have too much fun to cry for mommy. Then you imitated yourself crying for me 'Mommmmmyyyyyy, Mommmmmyyyy'. Then you laughed.

When we arrived at the gym, you did cry for a few minutes but in no time at all Miss Donna gave me the thumbs up sign thru the glass door to assure me that you were fine and playing. When I moved over to the stairmaster I could see into the playroom but only the tops of everyone's head. I saw your laughing eyes as you ran in circles with the other children. I could of watched you for hours and hours. My beautiful, beautiful boy. When I was ready to leave, you didn't want to leave. You were having too much fun. You were sweaty and red faced and happy. I never want to forget your little face at that moment. I smothered you with kisses. You wanted to show me how you were sitting at the little picnic table with the other kids but there was a little girl sitting there and she shoved you away. Mommy wanted to throw that little brat against the wall and pull her hair, how dare she push you! But Mommy need not go to jail, so I stopped myself.

I ask every day what I did to deserve you. How did I get blessed with the privilege of being your mom. Its a comfort to me knowing that whatever happens in the world that fact will never ever change. No matter how old I get, or how old you get, or how far you move away, or how many children you have, no matter how mad you get at me- I will always be your mother. or your mom. or your mommy.

I wonder how can I love you so intensely and not burst into flames?

A Trip to the Derm Doc

2006-03-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

This year I pledged to address any health concerns. January was the colonoscopy. For March, it would be skin cancer screening. All the years of sunburns and suntanning left my skin damaged and marked with all sorts of moles and marks. Nine years ago I had 2 suspicious moles removed from my back. It was time to go get checked. Also the perfect excuse to get advice on my annoying winter itch that makes me nuts.

Dr Derm walks in and we chat briefly about my suspicious mole history and she quickly skims my skin for anything weird. She decides I have a weird looking mole on my back, not far from the location of the last wierd moles that were removed. And maybe something funny on my foot. Whew! Good thing I am getting screened I think to myself. Here is her advice/thoughts/ramblings.

She is not concerned about it, BUT she has been wrong before. Actually, she has been 'shocked' by some things that turn up cancerous that she didn't think were anything. (what exactly does one do with this bit of info?)
She says it looks weird but not that weird.
I can have it removed but cutting into the back is not a good idea because its slow to heal and scars.
Of course, its always a risk NOT to remove a weird mole, because it could be skin cancer.
No point in doing a biopsy because she knows it will come back atypical which really doesn't mean anything but its atypical.
We can chose to have my husband take picture of it and watch it for any changes, then address it or
I can have it removed, if I want.
She says she will put 'come back in a year' on my release form but come back if something changes or if I want the mole removed.

I did not have enough brainwaves to figure out what she was advising me to do or not do, clearly diagnosing skin cancer was not her forte. Odd for a dermatologist that I waited 6 weeks to get an appointment with. I drove through a snow and ice storm to get to this appointment, so I wanted some type of sound doctorly advice. The least she can do is help my itchy skin. So as she is bidding me farewell I plead for another moment of her time. I tell her about my itchy skin that drives me crazy at night and how I drown my skin in baby oils and moisturizers but nothing helps whine whine whine. Simple enough, no? Here is her thoughts/advice/ramblings:

Their office sells a very expensive moisturizer that may help.
But its really, really expensive and it may not help so here is the name of cheaper OTC creme that may help. But it stings, thats how it works, its stings the skin to take away the itch. So if I would like to trade itching for stinging , thats my creme. That may help..but if it doesn't,
She gives me a prescription for another creme that might do the trick but probably won't.
Then she says perhaps we should see if any of those works. If not, come back in a month and we will do a biopsy. ( A biopsy? Isn't that kind of radical for itchy skin??)
She further explains itchy skin can indicate lymphoma or hodgkins lymphoma. (as in cancer?)
But she assures me that is not what she thinks it is at this time but, you know, it could be therefore she must discuss the possiblity with me. Because if she doesn't mention it and it is lymphoma, well that would be bad.
So lets wait to see if the above ineffective cremes help.
And come back in a year, if needed or she will see me in 4 weeks to biopsy 'the itch'.

My thoughts:

Was I being punked?
If I told her I had a headache, would she go right to the brain tumor discussion?
Suspicious mole- Possibly good idea to remove mole ...but not really since mole located on my back.... but it could be skin cancer... but she is not concerned... but boy has she been wrong about that before....so we can remove it ....or not. (Pass. Next question)
Itchy skin- Use these cremes on itchy skin..... but they probably won't work ....but might work ....but if they don't work I should come back ....because itchy skin could be lymphoma.... then the cremes won't work .... but the one creme will make your skin sting....but won't cure lymphoma so... come back in 4 weeks.... or a year
No really, was I being punked?

Next on list: mammogram

"Thanks for playing with me"

2006-02-24T20:24:00.000-07:00

Things my son said today:

Wake up mommy, wake up mommy, wake up mommy
I want to watch Diego, mommy. I want to watch Diego, mommy.
Special orange juice please.
Special pink juice please. In the big nemo cup.
I love you mommy.
Old Macdonald had a farm, on this farm he had...how about....a rooster!
Run. (requesting a game of chase)
Jump, mommy, Bounce! (during the song 'silly Time')
The shark jumps out of the water. all day.
I want noodles. (the standard answer whenever I ask him what he wants to eat)
I want to go in there. (living room). please.
thank you mommy.
Hi Sweetie, are you okay? (talking to cat)
Hi everybody. (talking to cats)
I kiss the boo-boo Mommy. (after I caught my finger in the door)
I want to play with stickers mommy.
Read. (standing in front of me, back turned with book in hand)
Where'd Daddy go? (asks everyday even though knows Daddy's working)
uh-oh, probably Gramma (when phone rings)
Its snowing out. (it was sunny).
Bye bye mommy, see you later.
Thanks for playing with me mommy. (as I was leaving for work)

You are very welcome my love.

Round Two

2006-02-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

And so it begins. Me and husband recently began the great paper chase for adoption #2. A call has been made to our social worker that we need to update our homestudy and we anxiously await their call.

I told husband we should keep this quiet for now, since we really have a long road ahead of us and our timeline is so sketchy right now, who knows what will happen blah blah blah. Husband said 'Okay. Then he asked me if it would be inappropriate for him to call the people he may have told and tell them to pretend to NOT know. When I asked him who did he tell, he was unsure. People at his work, his cousin perhaps, maybe his brother, whoever he was talking on the phone with yesterday but couldn't exactly remember who that person was, or maybe it was his sister-in-law, definitely not both, maybe neither. He remembers 'thinking' about mentioning the adoption but not sure if the words actually made the trip from the brain to the mouth. My brain started to melt. So to avoid a stroke, I told him to just NOT be broadcasting the adoption news at this point. Agreed. It will be interesting how long this lasts, I suck at keeping my mouth shut when it comes to what is going on in my life. Everybody else's secrets go to the grave, my own secrets fall out of my mouth like loose baby teeth.

Of course there are some people in our inner circle that must know, like our best buddies Renee and Steve, that have the entertaining task of writing reference letters. My soul-sister Rachel, who had a dream I was pregnant and since her dreams are always freaky with symbolic meaning, it took me about a nano-second to spill the beans that I was indeed 'expecting' in a symbolic sort of way. And lets not forget; our friendly bankers, doctors, employers, local police dept and neighbors- all parties have to accommodate us with various letters attesting that; yes we are employed, we do have some money, we are somewhat healthy, we are not criminals nor do we aspire to be one.

The excuse I gave my husband to keep things quiet is bullshit. The gag order is really to protect myself and the poor souls that have any kind of regular contact with me. Frankly, I am a ranter and a raver. And a bitcher and a moaner. Plus, nothing in my life is ever without some drama. Add that annoying factoid to the task of trying to squeeze letters with mind-numbing (albeit ridiculous) specific details from various establishments which have to be notarized and certified. Signed in blue ink. On appropriate letterhead. With matching dates. With the correct names (because if you use my middle initial instead of my full middle name it renders the whole document useless and I will cry, then I will beat you until you bleed). No typos or whiteout. Never ever cross-outs or scribbles. Mix all those ingredients together and you have the fixins for a very ugly 90+ days ahead of us.

So shouldn't my precious family and friends be spared the day-to-day list of who-or-what-pissed-me-off-today-rant that I would certainly dole out every single day? Of course they should be spared. And dole I would. Because I just can't keep my mouth shut! That is just who I am.

So out of love for the dearest to me, they will not hear me screech about the numerous attempts to convince the moronic receptionist at the doctors office that 'Yes, indeed the notary MUST be present when the doctor signs the document. And that is the whole point of getting something notarized and NO that is not MY OWN MADE-UP RULE You stupid twit.'

So until all the paperwork is done, mum is the word.

To family and friends: You Are Welcome.

Adopting by Choice. Why is this so strange????

2006-01-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Here are some random thoughts on why we chose adoption.

** There are children without parents and we wanted a child. Every child should have a loving parent to care for them.

** We just don't care that our child does not share our DNA. ( Our DNA was nothing to brag about anyway ). Nor do we care if they look like us.

** I never had that desire to be pregnant. Yet I wanted a family.

** We were somehow/someway able to make it happen financially.

** I always found the road less traveled can bring magical things.

When me and husband announced we were adopting, people immediately wanted to give us their sympathies because obviously we were having 'trouble' getting pregnant. No problems, we would just rather adopt. When we made it clear we were not trying to conceive, people assured us we should still try, we are still young enough to get pregnant. uh, no we would rather adopt. Some people seemed suspicious. No we don't plan to make the child work for food or sell his organs. Some people thought we were just lying or hiding something. Oh, mental disease runs in the family, right? Ok, so you met my family... but again no, we weren't concerned with mental disease. Some people thought we were just saintly do-gooders wanting to rescue a poor orphan. Sorry, wrong again. Very wrong.

I understand why people make those assumptions. We have all heard the countless personal accounts of couples battling infertility with various medical interventions. They endure painful needles, surgery, drugs, hormones, exorbinant amounts of money and emotional upheaval to achieve their dream. It is only natural to assume that everyone has such a desire or need to get pregnant. But its simply not true. I hope one day it will be common for healthy fertile couples to choose adoption. I hope one day most people will know someone who chose to adopt. I hope that more couples struggling with infertility consider adoption sooner rather than later. In the meantime I will tell everyone that asks, that adoption is beautiful, magical, and love in its purest form. It is also wild in an uncontrollable sense, ulcer-producing, emotionally exhaustive, expensive and it is not for the faint of heart. But He or She will be worth every second of it. And then some.

Colonoscopy Day

2006-01-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

Despite my pathetic failures yesterday, I woke up feeling oddly hopeful. The battle is not lost yet. I have one more ritual that may correct my wrong doings- the fleet enema! That one was not a big deal at all. Happily my headache had subsided but I was still dehydrated and so hungry I could of chewed off the sneakers on my feet.

The time is here. We drive to the office where after a short wait I am called to the admitting area by Agnus the nurse. She does her little interview my about pre-existing medical , allergies etc. She sends me to bed 2 and calls me 'Conchetta'. (internal panic button is pushed- she called me the wrong name). I am sent to get changed in the dressing room. When I emerge she points me to bed 3 (bed 3? AS IN THREE, what happened to two, she must be confusing me with someone else) You hear about these stories all the time.... how someone goes into the hospital to get their appendix out and they wake up without a lung or leg. So I said, "bed 3??? are you sure??? you said bed 2 before?" she casually waves me to bed 3. Oh Agnus why so vague. So I climb into bed and she starts taking my blood pressure, annoying me with ignorant chit-chat ( another story for another post)but I just can't let it go, I nervously stammer
"you know who I am, right.... Connie...you called me Conchetta and I think there is someone else here named Conchetta.. ..I just don't want you to confuse me with someone else". Agnus just nods and smiles happily writing in the chart and continues on her business. I tell myself to calm down because realistically the only procedure they are even doing in this room is a colonoscopy - duh we are not even in a hospital but a gastro outpatient office. So for the love of christ relax already. But still. I watch ER, things go wrong, people have DNR's signed and that Conchetta woman was older. You never know.

Agnus is done screwing with my head and departs. A new visitor arrives. It is the doctor who will be injecting that sweet sleepy juice into my veins. "Good morning" I say, trying to be extra charming and likeable. You just want to keep it all good between you and sleepy juice man. I boldly state that I don't care what they do to me as long as I am sleeping for it. As he walks away I wonder if that was the wrong choice of words. But because I am ass, I repeat the same thing to my gastro Dr when he stops by the bed to ask me how things are. Perhaps I should stop propositioning all medical staff with dorkweed comments like 'do as you please as long as I am asleep.' Sometimes I just sicken myself.

Its my turn, they wheel me into this large room under a big tv. I really am trying hard to be calm, but I am worried about the botched prep day. My mind keeps imagining the scene when the Doctor inserts the tube, turns on camara and they all stare in horror at the tv which displays the calcified sess pool inside my colon. Too late to turn back now.

All staff is in place, the doc on my left stands there armed with the large needle of sleepy juice, he says relax and I throw in one more remark about being asleep. His response: 'Oh you will be pleasantly survived..he stammers ...I mean pleasantly SURPRISED, pleasantly SURPRISED! I laugh but my brain turns to pudding -No I heard you- you said survived as if 'she was pleasantly survived by husband and son.' He nervously laughs how that was such a poor slip and then remarks how my heart rate is really up there. Ya think? I am stunned silent (finally).

The doctor tells me to lay on my left side and they will see me in a little while. Then as the doctor squeezes the syringe he softly says it may burn when the meds go in but only for a few seconds. I prepare for the burn. I wait. I wait. I wait. No burning. Panic mode again -why no burning -why no burning -oh no, the iv is not in or its a bad batch of sleepy juice!. I blurt out, "Its not burning!!" He said calmly, "thats ok, sometimes it doesn't" ...aaahhhh sleep.

I wake up in recovery feeling good. They told me I would have pain in my stomach from the air they pump into your colon but I don't, I feel great. The doctor quickly appears and tells me everything is ok, I just have a hemmoroid on the inside. I'll take it! I am elated! I change into my clothes and reunite with husband and son. I hop into the car to find husband had 2 hot slices of my favorite pizza waiting for me. Awesome....dear husband, you rule my world! Never enjoyed pizza more.

I think for my next procedure or test I will request to be anestisized upon arrival. Just shoot me up in the waiting room and lets avoid all the drama. And thanks to the evil liquid, I can no longer look at ginger ale, orange jello, white grape juice or the glass I used that day.

Prep Day

2006-01-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Today is the day before my colonoscopy aka prep day. Today and tomorrow morning I get to perform all these rituals to clean my colon out so the doctor can have a look-see. I have put off having this test for way too long. My family has a strong history of colon cancer at young ages and I have been urged several times by many doctors to have this test. I am feeling very grown up and proud that I am taking the 'preventative measure' path. Better safe than sorry approach. I mean I have a 21 month old son that I have to stick around for. Why wait until something goes wrong until I subject myself to such procedures. lies lies lies. Wait until something is wrong is EXACTLY what I did. Blood in the stool....sporadically for so long I couldn't even recall when it started. dumb-ass.

I don't feel too nervous about drinking the drinks or spending most of the day in the bathroom (I chose to look at that as a crash diet perk) but the no food/drink other than clear fluids has me in a panic. Wish me luck.

8:00am need to drink 1.5oz bottle of phospho soda with 4oz gingerale. the stuff looks harmless enough. I mix my cocktail and curl up on the couch for step 1.

8:10am one sip-AWFUL DISGUSTING VILE TASTING CRAP. How will I ever get thru this glass of evil liquid. I feel like I will gag. I am gagging. 1/2 way thru I pour myself a glass of gingerale as a chaser. I worry if that will screw things up.

8:32 still trying to finish this drink. My stomach is starting to rumple. Perhaps getting Tristan's breakfast is a good idea just in case my schedule fills up with bathroom trips for the next 6 hours. at least the kid will have one good meal until his father comes home.

9:05 I am angry at myself. It is only 5 1/2 oz. what is my problem. Get over it and do it. Just drink it. I am angry at my tastebuds for being sooo darn sensitive. I finally finished that god-for-sakin drink. I am still gagging. I am worried about the small amount I threw down the drain (do you have to finish every last drop to make it work?) I worry that I drank too much gingerale in between sips of that horrid EVIL LIQUID. I worry I took too long to drink it.

10:45 called doctors office to beg for an alternative for the 6pm dose. the nurse/receptionist/bitch said 'sorry, there is no alternative'. I ask if I can dilute the AWFUL DISGUSTING VILE CRAP with more soda and she said 'no. it may screw up the test. sorry'. then she adds gleefully, 'OH HONEY,JUST THINK HOW FLAT YOUR STOMACH WILL BE TOMORROW.' Bitch.

11:30 I am so hungry, so I think making my jello may be a good idea since its the only solid food allowed today and jello takes like 4 hours to set. I double check my diet instructions from the doctor once again to make sure I am not missing anything. Turns out, jello is not on the list. damn. Ginger ale, sprint, 7up, chicken boullioun soup but not jello. damn. Where did I read that I could have jello? Did I dream it? I re-read the instructions 25 times and nope its not on there.

1:05 I can't even look at ginger-ale, my brain will forever link it with the evil liquid. My directions say fruit juice is ok so I down a glass of orange juice. I have a nasty caffeine headache and again thank my son for being such a good boy while I put another episode on of Barney for him or is that wiggles- who gives a shit?

2:30 The doctors office calls to remind me about my appointment tomorrow. I went on a 20 minute tirade about how disgusting this awful stuff is and I really don't think I can do this again at 6pm. boo hoo boo hoo, there is no choice. But I do find out I CAN have jello (I grab my instruction sheet and scan it again-still no jello on the list- why the fuck not! its like the only solid food I am allowed to have and they don't put it on the list!!!!!!.....AND I am NOT suppose to have orange juice- oops! well don't you think the instructions should say fruit juices ok BUT NOT MOTHER LOVIN' ORANGE JUICE...GOD PEOPLE IS IT THAT HARD TO WRITE DOWN INSTRUCTIONS)I still have headache, butt getting sore and my body is begging for some food.

2:55 call husband and whine, tell him to bring me home white grape juice, 7up and sprite.

3:00 I will try to persuade my son that he wants a nice nap with a warm bottle and his favorite blankie.

6:20 plan worked we slept for a 2+ hours but now its past 6pm and its time for the 2nd dose of evil liquid.

9-ish-update: Couldn't finish the drink, took 2 to 3 sips and then my body would allow no more. I tried to swallow and I gagged it right back up. then after what seem to be the worst hour of the day, I proceeded to vomit about 2 gallons of every liquid consumed earlier. Now I panic- So does this cancel the few sips I took before I vomitted. I resign to the fact that there will be no more evil liquid going down my throat. And if the doctor can't do the test tomorrow than fine because if my wussy-ass can't accomplish this how the hell would I dare try to accomplish chemo and fighting cancer. Screw it I am going to bed.

Naming an Angel

2006-01-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

When me and husband where deciding on a name for our son, 'Tristan' was immediately on the short list. (Other names that made the cut were Noah, Mateo, Preston, Chase and Devon.) I wanted a name you would probably not find pre-printed on magnets, coffee mugs, keychains, etc. I didn't want a name that he would share with 4 or 5 classmates. No trendy names or the old-time favorites. My goal was to strike a balance between unique yet not over the top, timeless but still cool, strong but not formal. I toyed with the above names but my heart was always with Tristan. Luckily my husband agreed. Decision made.

You may remember that Brad Pitt played a 'Tristan' in an 90's movie Legends of the Fall. I will certainly admit that Legends of the Fall is one of my favorite movies of all-time. But choosing that name has nothing to do with the character in the movie or Brad Pitt. It does have to do with how the other actors in the movie 'say' his name. Tristan. It just sounds like a cool drink on a hot day. Or perhaps hot chocolate on a bitter cold day. It worked both ways for me. How versatile.

Names have an interesting power to provoke negative connotations in one person's mind yet give the warm and fuzzies to another. I think when you are naming your child, you really need not include others in the process or worry about what people will say. Its just too subjective. Many people tried to persuade us differently, Some reasons were: 'it sounds like Kristin or Christian' or 'His initials will be 'TAD.' Some brought up the nickname factor: What will people call him for short? 'Tris.' No. People will call him what he or his parents introduce him as. For every person you find that dislikes a particular name, you will find someone who loves it. There is no right or wrong.

I have never met another family with a child named Tristan. Yet I have read about some. Good sign, just what I wanted. But some recent events have me worried. There is new movie out. And it is being promoted heavily. The trailers begin with ....Before Romeo and Juliet.... there was Tristan and Isolde. They adapted the famous opera 'Tristan and Isolde' into a movie. Now it will become more mainstream and more common just because anyone with a tv is going to be hearing that name over and over again. Why does this bother me? Because this is Tristan's planet and no one shall hold the King's name, that's why. But there's hope, the story is full of tradegy and sorrow with doomed lovers, poison, war, betrayal, etc. That should keep those future baby-namers away. And if that doesn't deter- this will: If you look up the name in those nifty baby-name books... the name means sorrow. Who would name their child a name that means sorrow? Most won't. I did. Because I could care less what the baby-name book says. Ha!

Deciding on a middle name was also pretty much a no-brainer for us. Tristan's birthmother gave him the name Angel Gabriel when he was born. We knew we wanted to retain one of the names just not sure which. We decided to wait until we met him on our first visit. In Guatemala, in the first minutes alone with our boy, we looked into his face and it was clear, he was angel. An angel with a halo and wings. Just like you would imagine an angel to be; breathtakingly beautiful with luminous eyes. He was heaven-sent. He is the angel that will save my sorry-ass soul a million times with his smile. All his paperwork listed him as Angel, his foster family called him Angelito, so Tristan Angel it would be.

Since he has been home, I seem to have a version of his name depending on the mood or situation. Angel is always pronounced the spanish version, with the accent on the 'A' and the 'g' sounding like a soft 'h.'

Tristan, used always when I talk about him or in social situations.
Tristan Angel, when I am using authoriative mommy-talk 'Tristan Angel please stop touching the tv'.
Angel, when I am trying to beg or coax him into doing something he doesn't want to do or when I am mad.
Angelito, used when casually talking to him at home about nothing important. Or when I am trying to calm him down.

Tristan Angel. Its looks cool in print too.

Christmas 2005 was splendid, now please leave..

2005-12-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

This was a wonderful christmas for our family. We went to husband's parents house on xmas eve. Tristan got lots of cute outfits and some cool toys. Me and husband got a new digital camara. It was a relaxing uneventful evening, just what I ordered.

I have not been this excited for xmas morning since I still had baby teeth. Everyday for weeks, I have been enforcing the whole concept of Christmas to Tristan, how santa claus comes xmas eve and leaves toys under the tree and what toys do you want? and maybe we should call santa to tell him and blah blah blah. The first time I asked him what toy he would like santa to bring him. He said 'I want piano', and ' I want truck.' He later added; crane, dump truck, airplane, helicopter and dinosaur. Finally the morning is here, the moment I have been anxiously waiting for. Telling my son Santa came and left presents under the tree just for him. That was one of my favorite mommy moments. His eyes widened with unmistakeable excitement with the suggestion there might be something to climb on. He ran into the living room and without skipping a beat, climbed right onto his climber and went down the slide. Finally something he was allowed to climb on. What fun. Me and husband did much better in the gift department this year. His piano, dinosaur and shopping cart were also big hits.

later that morning my Dad arrived with his arsenal of toys: bob the builder workbench, bob the builder legos, caterpillar trucks, cranes, planetarium, magnadoodles, furby, racecars, megablocks and more. Then there was THE TOY. The favorite toy of all... The Hess Fire Engine and Rescue Jeep. It has sirens, lights, movable ladders, doors that open, a jeep that fits in the back of the truck, made of metal not plastic. Amazing how much joy a toy can bring to a child. He insists the truck join him for his meals. Today he even shared his apples with the truck. Then he dipped the tires in his peanut butter. If I dare try to hide the truck (not to be mean, but the other 39,000 toys in the house need some attention too you know), he will wander around and ask pathetically, where is fire engine??? mommy?? where is fire engine???? which if I don't quickly and efficiently produce said truck escalates into hysterics that would make your ears crawl inside your skull.
Here's the thing though, the truck is small enough to carry around yet big enough to do damage to any wall, furniture, cat or person it is violently slammed against. He can be my angelic son 'look mommy, I play with my fire engine' as he scoots along the floor innocently, then seconds later, He slams it, throws it, crashes it, sends it sailing off the table, smashes it into other toys, my kitchen appliances, the radiators, walls, even his beloved crayons. Just for that moment- my angelic boy morphs into 'disturbed voilent child with horns and a tail'. I am sure its normal toddler-boy behavior thing, right?? I am just not sure if he is trying to destroy the beloved truck or just use the beloved truck to destroy everything else. Guess we will find out.

Husband was happy with his new toys: camera, tablesaw & jigsaw. I was spoiled with tanzanite earrings, an ipod, new pj's and robe and oprah dvd to name a few.

Christmas is a great place to visit but I don't want to live there. I want to put away the decorations, throw away the crumbling gingerbread house and take down the tree. My xmas spirit has been neatly packed up and safely stored. Christmas be gone.

Remembering Last Christmas (2004)

2005-12-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

As we are closing in on Christmas 2005, I wanted to put some thoughts down about last Christmas, aka Tristan's First Christmas. He was 8 1/2 months old and just learned to walk with assistance. Christmas Eve we had my dad over for an early dinner. He came with a carload of gifts for Tristan. It took about 6 trips to the car to bring the bounty of toys in the house. For the next couple of hours we watched Tristan gleefully tear thru his gifts. Later that evening my in-laws came over for dessert. We had a nice evening. We took pictures in front of the tree, stuffed our faces and marveled at the baby.

Christmas morning Tristan opened his gifts from Mommy and Daddy (aka 'Santa Claus'). It was lame- an assortment of books, a dvd, and a couple toys. Took all but a few minutes to zip thru them. Lame. In our defense: It was an expensive year and Christmas is not really about the gifts anyway. (Ok, Christmas is ALL about the gifts... so at the end of day I told Tristan ALL the cool gifts were really from Mommy and Daddy. All bases covered.)

Christmas afternoon we picked up my Dad and headed down to my cousin Sandy's. We introduced Tristan to my side of the family for the first time. It was a happy day and Tristan seem to enjoy the hustle and bustle of the jovial crowd. We left my cousins with another mountain of gifts for Tristan and then headed over to Husbands brothers house. We got lost on the way so we were in the car for a looonnnnng time and the party was pretty much over when we got there. The late hour did not stop the in-laws from tossing Tristan to the floor where they took turns pelting him with beautifully wrapped presents. It went on for hours. He tried to crawl away a few times to no avail. Me and husband were powerless, we could only sit there and watch (I took pictures and husband got video)as our helpless baby disappeared under 500 sq ft of wrapping paper. (Does a baby really need a new outfit for every day and a jacket to match each outfit? Of course they do!)
As for the outfit of the day: Tristan looked absolutely adorable in his emerald green plaid dress slacks, gray button down shirt and green velvet vest.

Celebrating Christmas with a child makes all the madness of the holidays worth it ten-fold. My house looked like ToysRus and Old Navy exploded in the living room but it's all good. For me and the husband, the best gift of 2004 was having our baby home to celebrate. If he wasn't home, we would of just travelled to Guatemala to spend the holidays with him there. Missing his first christmas was not an option.

Note to Tristan: though the words 'emerald green plaid dress slacks' paints a scary picture in your mind, do not be alarmed, mommy has pictures to prove the outfit was stylish and festive without being obnoxious. I was briefly tempted to dress you head to toe in a red 'santa's little helper' outfit but, you my son, are just too dignified for that silliness.

Draw BIG moon

2005-12-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am not sure exactly why or when this happened, but for some reason Tristan is fascinated (read: obsessed) with the moon. It started when he was able to point out a moon in his books. Then when he began to speak, one of the first things he actually 'exclaimed' was 'the moon!'. It was daytime and the moon was barely visible in the blue sky. I thought wow! good eye kid. In August we attended husbands annual Knights Family Picnic. They had games and prizes for the kids. Tristan won a mini-magnadoodle thing. To entertain my 15 month old, I drew a circle and said look what mommy drew. The moon! he screamed with delight. Mommy drew THE MOON. and so began the lovefest. Ever since that day if I heard 'mommy/daddy draw moon' once, I heard it thousands of times. If there is any writing utensil around, Tristan will insist, beg, plead, to draw him a moon. Doesn't have to be fancy, just a circle. We have been drawing moons everyday since August. thats a whole lotta moons. Moons have been drawn on paper, aquadoodles, coloring books, walls, whiteboards, napkins, on tile, in carpet, in the sand, in the air, on his belly. Me and husband both have created beautiful pictorials that would dazzle any toddlers eyes. complete with his favorite characters, trucks, houses, trees, bugs, monsters, landscapes, and every other item that a kid would enjoy- Look what mommy drew -a really cool halloween picture...see here is the green witches and the orange pumpkins and look at the silly haunted house I drew. His response: 'Mommy draw moon, draw BIG moon.' But look sweetie, mommy drew Dora the Explorer here next to the pumpkin. 'Mommy draw moon....draw BIG moon. Look Daddy drew you Santa Claus and the reindeer and.... 'daddy draw big moon'... 'daddy draw moon right there... and draw moon there....draw BIIIIGGGG moon here... and so it goes.
and then in no time at all,our splendid artwork is littered with small moons, quarter moons, half moons, big moons, happy moons, moons, moons everywhere!!!

Ok then, certainly not hard to please. Its just a circle that takes a nano second to throw on paper and it makes him HAPPY. SO VERY HAPPY. How lucky for us to be able to light his little world up, if only for a moment, with a simple circle! For some reason the moons make him happy. The moons make him smile. And every time I see that smile, I can't help but want to give him... well, the moon, of course. Its a win-win all around. Tristan, mommy will always draw you BIG moons.....always and forever. I promise.

Remembering Seaside (June & September 2005)

2005-11-29T21:34:00.000-07:00

More scattered thoughts about the summer.
Besides Florida, we also took 2 mini-family excursions to Seaside Park where we stayed at Husband's parents condo. Tristan was introduced to the Jersey Shore in June and then again in September. He loved the ocean, loved the sand, loved Gramma and Pa-pa's condo, and had fun with the whole clan. We finally made it to the boardwalk on our second trip in September. All of my childhood vacations were in Seaside. So walking the boardwalk with my own child gave me a yummy feeling.
We headed straight for the kiddie pier and put Tristan on the calmest rides we could find. First husband took him on the mini-train. Then I got to take on him on the jeep safari ride. He got the biggest kick out of the giant slide where he slid down in a sack on his fathers lap. When we first arrived he was a bit hesitant but he quickly warmed up after getting used to all the assaulting noises and brightlights. We all spent money playing the stands, but what trip to the boardwalk is complete unless you are blessed with some bogus prize. Prizes of the day: Big Bird & Singing Elmo (won by Aunt DeDe), the seahorse (won by Husband), and the plastic blow up Hulk bat (won by Me). All items now collecting dust in my house(except the hulk bat thing- it never survived the trip home).

Back at the condo Tristan's One Man Show was playing around the clock. He danced with his grandmother in the kitchen. His Aunt taught him how to throw rocks(...wait isn't that something I yell at him for)?? He let me and husband take a mini-shopping spree all by ourselves at the local B&B store.
It was a relaxing fun-packed weekend and we look forward to going back next year.

Remembering our Vacations In Florida (May & October 2005)

2005-11-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

I had all the intentions to keep a blog or journal documenting Tristan's milestones, every 'first', every phase and every nuance of his being. Much to my dismay, I find that time has left me like roadkill on the highway. So I have finally got myself together, got my pencil in hand and ready to go. I will be jumping all around as my random thoughts make their way into print. So Tristan when you are reading these entries to your therapist make sure you tell that nice man or woman that mommy was not a scattered brain as my ramblings might suggest. I was completely normal. Really, I was.

May:
First Official Words
We were fortunate to be able vacation in Florida with our dear friends Steve, Elena and their 2 daughters. Both trips, we were invited to stay at their family home in Cape Coral. The first trip was in May and Tristan officially began to speak uttering those famous 'first words,'that didn't include mama or dada. Drum roll please: Bubble ...** His bottle had a little picture with a bunny and bubbles. We were sitting on the bed and he pointed to the bubbles and said 'bubble' clear as a bell. Cool. Another 'first' word: Steve ...** Tristan adores his Uncle Steve and he very much wanted to keep him aprised on all of his activities. How else can you get someone's attention..you call their name! Yes, my son is brilliant!

Pool Antics:
Of course, me and the husband could not have been happier spending our days running after our boy. he loved the pool, he loved the ocean, he loved the sand, he was eating heartily and sleeping great. He enjoyed getting tossed high in the air by the husband. Too high. Not surprised, as the husband is always tossing my not-so-fragile boy around. Tristan can't get enough of it. Me, well I am in constant fear that the husband is going to break my not-so-fragile, yet still breakable child. He hasn't yet. Good sign. It still makes me nervous.

Can't forget about the boats. He enjoyed collecting the three plastic boats in the pool. If one is good, 3 must be better. Every time and anytime he got his hands on one, he methodically scanned the pool for missing boat #2 and missing boat #3. Once he spotted them we were ordered to take him to retrieve them. now. We didn't think of ignoring his orders.
When he wasn't being possessive over the boats, he was dumping cups of water over his head. The sensation of water running down his face was almost too much for him stand.

On an adult note
We drank everyday. Heavily. Did nothing but eat, bob in the pool, drink, watch tv and drink. Alot. It was a divine escape from our realities of the phone company jobs, scooping litter, whining cats, rushing around and such. I'll never forget pulling out of the driveway on our way to the airport to return home. The garbage men have not picked up teh recycleables yet and all you see are boxes and boxes of empty beer bottles peppered with Tristan's formula bottles. Doesn't that warrant a call to authorities?? Luckily we were gettin out of town.

Uncle Steve's Goggles
The 2nd trip Tristan was already speaking in short sentences, learning how to swim, and revealing his super powers to us. If Tristan was a super hero his power would be his astonishing memory. During our first trip in May we were all hanging out in the pool. Steve was swimming with his goggles on. When Tristan spotted the goggles he panicked. He not the panicky type but for some reason the goggles freaked him out. For the rest of the week, anytime anyone put the goggles on he was very disturbed by them. Fast forward to July. We are swimming in Steve and Elena's pool back at home. Again, Tristan notices the goggles but it was basically a non-event. Goggles or the incident is never mentioned again. Fast forward to September while we are preparing to travel to Florida for our second trip. I was babbling on to Tristan about how we are going back to Florida to swim in the pool blah blah blah fun blah blah swimming blah blah. After a moment of listening to me, he cocked his head slightly to the side and said very clearly 'Uncle Steve's goggles'. He said it in a ' how-can-i-ever-forget-those-freaky-goggles' kinda way. How can a child remember such an incident from 5 months before? I wonder what else he remembers, I mean should you really worry about what you do in front of a 13 month old?? Apparently so. Fast forward to October in florida on vacation: Tristan was obsessed with the goggles. He talked about them every day. Anything and everything was about 'Uncle Steve's goggles.' He wasn't so much scared of the goggles anymore but intriqued to the point of distraction. On the last day we got him to pose for a picture wearing the infamous goggles. Silly boy. It has been 4 months since that trip and if you mention Florida to him he will still talk about those goggles.

random thoughts about my son and his 'dada'

2005-05-09T19:18:00.000-07:00

Everyone witnesses those moments in life that become forever seared in your mind. Sweet tender moments. Moments that remind you how kind life can be. The moments you keep close to your heart like little treasures you can take with you anywhere. So many of my moments are that of my husband and our son. It is a magical father-son dance that I am blessed to be a witness of. I will never forget the first time Tristan cried out for his Dad as he was rushing off to work in the morning. A huge step in the attachment process and a moment I will remember forever. I savor the sound of my toddler marching through our kitchen chattering dada dada dada. sometimes it sounds like normal toddler babbling, at other times he says it as if he expects his father to appear. Sometimes I feel compelled to say 'hey what about mama. lets hear some 'mama mama'. Sometimes he obliges and sometimes his 'dada' chants get louder. Either way, it is music to my ears.
I also get a daily treat when my husband gets home from work. Tristan's face lights up like the sun and his eyes sparkle when he greets him at the door. All becomes right in his world when he scoops him up for his hello hug and kiss. I look forward to that moment every day.
As the days race by, weeks turn into months, and months will soon turn into years, I will continue to search for that elusive path to a simpler life. A life where I can have more of those glorious moments with my family. As our busy schedules turn into a series of hellos and goodbyes, my heart aches for lazy afternoons that touch the edge of boredom yet are filled with the sound of my son's giggles and the warmth of my husbands hugs.

Its been 6 months.

2005-04-20T05:25:00.000-07:00

Tristan has been home with us 6 months yesterday, April 19th. It has been a great 6 months, and hard to believe that 6 months have passed so quickly. He is becoming such a little man. As you can imagine, Tristan is the center of our lives. We still fight over who gets to change him, if you can believe that. He continues to amaze us with the things he does, like asking him to show us the moon during the day and he points to it in the sky. He has such a easy going personality. He is very friendly and waves and smiles at people we pass on the street.
We had Tristan Baptized on April 10th.

I interrupt this blog entry for the following...
Note to husband: You have dropped the ball on the blog. All future blog entries will be from me. Love, your wife

Just To Let You Know

2005-04-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Tristan is doing wonderful. He laughs and plays and babbles up a storm. Tristan likes to give kisses, but not your normal kisses. We like to refer to them as cannibal kisses. He comes at you with mouth open, snaps his head back and watch out. You are going to get wet, but its worth it. He does this mostly with his mom. For me, its usually a single kiss. He also enjoys kissing his reflection in the mirror.
With the break in the weather, we have started taking Tristan outside. Its new to him, so he is slow to react to new things. There is one thing, he is afraid of leaves when blown by the wind. This may be due to the fact that only after a month of having Tristan home with us we took him to the park And while at the park we buried him up to his head in leaves. Can you say traumatic experience. The look on his face in the pictures we took at the park tells it all.
Tristan is becoming quite the soccer star. We bought him a little stuffed ball, which he kicks around. He can usually make 2 or 3 kicks before stepping over the ball. But he is getting better. He makes a big grin and laughs when I dance around the ball before kicking it to him. Just another thing to tire me out. This kid knows how to do that very well. Another fun time is the "I'm gonna get you" game. I think I mentioned this before, Tristan will walk away from you, stop, look over his shoulder at you and wait for you to yell, "I'm gonna get you". Than its off to the races. Oh, and I can't forget rolly polly baby. This one isn't as strenuous as the other games. With Tristan laying on his back, I grab his arms and roll him back and fourth singing "rolly polly baby". This also prompts a big grin. And he gets into it, throwing his head from side to side.
Another one of his talents is dancing. With so many toys that play music its no surprise. And like everything else he does, he is good at it. It looks like he is doing an Irish jig. He also dances while bent over in a tri-pod stance.
Tristan's mom went back to work this week. So the house has been turned upside down. I've been doing my best to keep Tristan busy so he doesn't miss his ma ma. As you can imagine, this has taken a larger toll on mom. She is such a great mom. For someone who didn't enjoy children like I do (being on the same mental level), she is doing great things with Tristan. She is a natural and for her to not to have children would have been a crime.
Tristan is going to be baptized this weekend at Queen of Peace Church, April 10. Afterwards, we will be celebrating his birthday and Christening at Bensis restaurant. We weren't expecting a big crowd, but were we wrong. Right now we have 47 adults and 16 kids, so much for not big. That's almost as many as we had at the wedding.