I met my husband in 1995 at a bowling alley through a mutual friend. I was 26 and he was 30. Both of us were single and bored. Perfect match. We started dating regularly, then lust morphed its way into sweet sweet love. After about 4 years of laughter, love and lolligaggin, we decided to ruin everything by throwing our money together, selling our souls to the mortgage lenders and buying a cute little house on a cute little street. For the following years our energy and resources were put into remodeling our home, vacations, socializing and our own personal endeavors(mine: working with a animal rescue organization. His: working with the Knights of Columbus). We were busy and happy.
On November 16, 2002, the husband presented me with a diamond ring and a surprise marriage proposal in front of 150 guests at the annual Knights of Columbus Award Dinner. My heart will belong to this man forever. I am sure of it. We eventually settled on the wedding date of April 24, 2004.
At this point, me in my mid-thirties and husband closing in on forty, we started discussing children. I thought having an only child was a good plan, husband thought 2 to 3 was more like it. Since I was barely willing to accommodate one pregnancy despite being fertile, I asked my husband if he would consider adoption as an option to expand our family. True to form, my open-minded husband answers casually, "sure, look into it". Aaahh, one of the reasons I love this man so much, he can be so cool about the big important stuff.
For some reason, it was very difficult for me to wrap my mind around having children. And the thoughts I did have were void of any true longing or anticipation. Honestly, I was not very fond of children. I mean, I wanted to have a family and knew I would adore and love my children (you know,I wasn't a monster or anything). It was just difficult for me to visualize or fantasize about it like most woman do. There was a missing link in my plans that I couldn't define. Fortunately, everything soon fell into place after adoption entered into our plans. I finally felt that true longing and anticipation I heard so much about.
Now my husband on the other hand, loved kids. He was beloved by all children near and far. At any family gathering, they would all flock to him. He would play games with them, chase them, tease them, and roughhouse with them. They adored him. Everyone always noticed that and remarked how great he was with kids and how he would be a great dad. (They were so right.)
Adoption. The seed was planted in my brain. I started researching adoption everywhere. I sucked up every morsel of information I could. I requested brochures at every website I visited. I studied the different countries, programs, criterias, and agencies. I spent hours at work scouring the internet for information, printing articles, joining adoption forums, attending seminars and reading books about adoption. The more I read, the more I wanted to know and the more excited I was about the possibilities. My husband worked days and I worked the evening shift, so when I got home at night I would fill him in with any new adoption findings for the day and we would ponder the new material and our thoughts. It was incredibly educational and enlightening. We learned about foreign cultures and governments. The far reaching affects of poverty, famine and droughts. The affects of orphanage and foster care on children. Prevalent health issues and the affects of alcohol and drugs on babies in utero. Bonding and attachment issues. Emotional, psychological and physical development in children. Much of the information is painful to read, depressing and heartbreaking. You wonder how can this happen in this day and age, and yet it does. It was often overwhelming but we were undetered. Adoption was in our master plan.
