We are happy. We see the light at the end of the tunnel. Several things have to happen before we are free and clear to bring Gavin home but the big hurdle (pgn) is behind us. We are now back to waiting for the next step. Waiting is the hardest part. The whole process consists of long painful bouts of waiting right to the bitter end. We spent a whole week with Tristan in Guatemala before returning home with him and I still couldn't shake the feeling that something could go wrong. It was only when our plane touched down in the good ole US of A did I truly feel like the wait was finally over. Ok, lets change that to after baggage claim, then the waiting was defintely over.
After the next step, the signing of the Adoption Deed, we are legally Gavin's parents. Hooray! At this point, Gavin's birth mom must give her fourth and final signature relinquishing her parental rights. Up until this point, she can change her mind and choose to parent her child. People are often shocked by this and feel it should not be allowed. I understand people are most likely thinking about what would happen to us (epic loss and devastation) if that happened. And believe me, the adoption not completing is the greatest fear in any adoption. It happens. But what if you take us, the adoptive parents, out of the equation: Are we really entitled to her child? No. It doesn't matter how long we stared at his picture, or that we already love him and refer to him as 'ours'. It doesn't matter how much blood, sweat and tears we have vested in the process, nor does it matter how much money we paid to agencies, officials and lawyers. She choose an adoption plan 8+ months ago. What if her situation has changed or improved and, for whatever reason, she is willing and able to care for son? Do we say, sorry, your too late, that American couple really really wants your baby. Of course not. In a perfect world, every mother should be able to care for her child if she chooses. I don't have any answers for any of this but I feel terribly conflicted writing about this as I sit here anxiously waiting to hear the news that she did sign and the Adoption Deed is complete.
So that is where we are now, waiting for word the adoption deed is completed. Next the birth certificate will be reissued with our names. To be continued.....
