Me: WHAT? NO! Are you nuts? NO. Never. How dare you even suggest it? Like we need another living creature in the house that we have to FEED everyday. And CLEAN UP after. You know you have clean their tank. Uugh. Between all the cats and their damn litterboxes and medicine. Oh. Hell. No.
(Silence)
Me: I really don’t know what you were thinking even asking such a question. I don’t want fish in the house. No way. I mean, really?
(Silence)
Me: Did you even think about what you said before you said it? Fish? Come on, what’s wrong with you.
…I huff and puff and roll my eyes for another 10-15 minutes at the insanity that came out of my husband’s mouth. (Perhaps a slight over-reaction on my part to a simple question, but my husband will agree, I do tend to over-react on occasions.)
A couple of months later….
It’s Halloween. We bring Tristan in costume to the in-laws. Upon arrival, he is given a bag full of gifts. Because when you’re Tristan, every holiday is Christmas. The goodies couldn’t have been more perfectly chosen. Dash Incredible and Lightning McQueen PJ’s. Walkie-talkies. Socks to fit his quickly growing feet and a book about being a big brother. What fun! But wait there's more. Aunt Barbara invites Tristan into the dining room to see his 'special' surprise.
And there before my very eyes, sitting in the center of the table: A goldfish!
It was a cute little orange & white goldfish in a shiney little fishbowl. With pretty blue gravel and a delightful Spongebob statue in the center. The presentation was quite adorable. Tristan asked if he could take the fish out and play with him. We laughed, it was funny. Distracted I was, by the look of awe and amazement on my son’s face. He was so excited. We joked as I was warned not to flush the fish. The family assured me they don’t live but a few months. Tristan was excited and happy. A fish to call his own! (Enter: Reality) Wait! A fish that will need to be fed, cared for, cleaned up after. Oh hell no. (Insert various curse words here.)
We get home that night and since I know nothing about fish I went online to read up on how to care for a goldfish. It was bad news all around. Fishbowl- no way, they need a TANK. 10 gallons minimum per fish. With a filter. And a light. And lots of places to hide because they are nervous creatures. Who knew? You need to buy test kits and add chemicals and watch for algae growing. Also ammonia builds up and thats bad. The tank needs to be closed because they can jump out of the tank. They are schooling fish by nature, is it cruel to let them live alone for their short stay on earth? And we have a housefull of cats. Oh wait a minute, lifespan 10 years or more when taken care of properly. Apparently, the cute little fishbowls they sell at the stores for the fish are actually not meant for fish to live in. They are cruel and unsafe. Again, who knew?
So we now have a fish, what do we do? We can keep the newest member of the family prisoner in his cozy fishbowl which will guarantee a quickie, albeit premature, death OR we can go back to the store and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a big-ass fish tank, filter, tank light, chemicals, various aquatic greenery, gravel, big cavernous rock ornament and siphon. Being the humane (and stupid) family we are, we opted for the expensive option. So off to the store to upgrade 'Fishy's' living quarters.
Obviously it would be a crime to spend all that $$ on fish paraphernalia to care for one fish, we buy another goldfish. He is appropriately named ‘Gil’ in honor of Tristan’s all time favorite movie Nemo.
Tristan adores his fish. He talks to them, feeds them and even cheers them on when they race around during feeding time. For those reasons, I have made peace with our aquatic friends.
Do I wish my house were still fish-less? Yes.
Do I think a goldfish was a perfect gift for Tristan? Yes. After all, it was a love-infused gift straight from his Aunt Barbara's heart. She indulges Tristan with things that are wildly exciting for him, slightly nerve wracking to us, the parents. Dora the Jeep (wow that jeep goes fast!), gumball machine (he can't have gum!), and glass ornaments from Nemo (oops, Nemo broke!) and so on. She will be the one Tristan will run to when we don't understand his rebellious teenager ways. She will be the one he calls when he needs a ride to the mall or a party or anywhere else that being taxied by your parents would be nothing short of social suicide. She will totally get that and comply. Because she is the 'cool' aunt. Every kid needs one of those in their life.
